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Words to live by!

Kerb Crawler

Kerb Crawler

Closed Fist of the Badlands
If it smells bad, don't eat it.
 
It's always in the last place you look.
 
Unflattering underwear is a dealbreaker.
 
Do something you fear everyday.
 
If you keep touching it, it will only get redder.
 
Nobody wants to see pictures of your ugly children.
 
Pissing blood is NOT a good thing.
 
If a woman tells you you're LARGE, get a second opinion.
 
Pretty people shit, too.
 
Don't believe the hype. Drugs CAN be fun.
 
Never give up, never surrender. (Lifted from Toy Story.)
 
Stay out of my files. Ass.
 
Ugly people need love, too. I just don't want to see it.
 
Flattery will get you everywhere. Improper touching may land you in hot water. (Baths I can handle.)
 
Eat more bananas. Vitamin K is your friend.
 
Always try and beat your high score at MIND games.
 
Cheaters never win. Winners never admit to cheating.
 
Showing your tits is an acceptable form of currency and has value in our society.
 
Boundaries are important. It helps keep things real. Reality is for suckers.
 
If you reach the age of 30 and have never had good sex, join a convent, or the priesthood.
 
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