Words to live by!

[Kerb Crawler]

Good sex is relative.

 

[Kerb Crawler]

Good sex WITH relatives is wrong.

 

[Kerb Crawler]

Morals are limiting.

 

[Kerb Crawler]

If you can get away with it, do it.

 

[Kerb Crawler]

Don't ask, don't tell.

 

[Kerb Crawler]

Never tell your grandma she's full of shit. It will not end well.

 

[Kerb Crawler]

Cancer is not an excuse to guilt others into giving you attention.

 

[Kerb Crawler]

There is no one more important than you. Except that other guy.

 

[Kerb Crawler]

Plastic surgery is false advertising and fake boobs are unfortunate.

 

[Kerb Crawler]

Hormel Foods does not appreciate the internet association with SPAM.

 

[Kerb Crawler]

Circle jerks and themed orgies can be fun.

 

[Kerb Crawler]

Being at work is a poor way to spend an otherwise great day.

 

[Mentalist]

It's better to have loved and lost than to never have lost at all.

 

[Mentalist]

The best things in life are not actually "things"

 

[Mentalist]

RAPE is wrong.

 

[Mentalist]

God is smarter than you, whoever the fuck he/she/it is.

 

[Mentalist]

Don't do ANYTHING that Menty wouldn't do.

 

[Mentalist]

You're here. You officially beat the odds.

 

[Mentalist]

Be an ornament to the countenance of truth, a crown to the brow of fidelity, a pillar of the temple of righteousness, a breath of life to the body of mankind, an ensign of the hosts of justice, a luminary above the horizon of virtue, a dew to the soil of the human heart, an ark on the ocean of knowledge, a sun in the heaven of bounty, a gem on the diadem of wisdom, a shining light in the firmament of thy generation, a fruit upon the tree of humanity.


And slap people upside the head who fuck with you.

 

[Mentalist]

All women are whores except your mother.