OK. In infantry you want artillery cover. The thing about artillery is, it isn't instantaneous. The shells take some time to fly through the air to rain hot death down on your foes. And when the Bad Guys are shooting at you, it can take an awful long time after you hear that "Shot, over" that signifies the battery has fired to when they call to warn you of "splash" (impact is imminent).
I mention this because I pulled the trigger on firing my remaining tenant Monday afternoon. I'd have rather rented the other place out first. Hell, I'd rather just kept him. But he's too much headache. I won't go through the entire litany, but he's been literally disrespecting and lying to me since he sent an application and the final insult is, the first month his lease was up and he was on month-to-month, he underpaid the rent and then took until the 4th of the month to fix the problem.
After insisting on a 1 year lease (when he pretty clearly lied about his income, given that he said he made well over 4x the rent every month and then less than a year later said he wasn't going to be able to pay the rent without assistance--and lied about being a nonsmoker) he was upset that, after he was a constant pain in my ass for the entire year, I wasn't going to give him a new lease. I said I was moving all my tenants to month-to-month and reminded him the rent would be going up by 2.9% for the new year, as specified in the lease. He said he was fine with that, he just didn't want to find out he had 30 days to find a new place to live. I didn't reply.
So on (I feel like I've covered a lot of this already) so on the 27th--at 10:40pm, he texts that the rent check is in the mailbox. Since I don't want the mailman to accidentally get it, I change out of jammies and run over and get it. Sure enough, it isn't the new amount, it's the old amount. Next day, at a respectable hour, I diplomatically remind him that he's underpaid the rent and owes me another 2.9% before the 1st. He's apologetic and promises to get it to me. Sat up until 11:59:59 on the 1st. No rent check. Eventually next day he apologizes and promises he'll have the check for me as soon as he gets off work. I shut off the phone and went to bed after 10pm. When I got up there was, of course, no message that he had rent for me. Or the day after that. Finally, before 7am on the 4th, he texts that he has a check for me.
Gee. If you don't want to have to move out, I wonder what you should do: Make sure you pay your rent on time and follow the letter of the lease or lie to, jerk around, piss off, and make work and stress for your landlord.
So the notice is in the mail. Should show up tomorrow. Of course I'm dreading the drama that will likely happen and trying to decide the best way of handling it. He's got to know why he has to move out. At least on a subconscious level (although he IS pretty fucking stupid). So this is just shitty manipulative games. Do I just ghost him? Or do I take the high road and say "Hey, business is business. We've got plans for the property that don't include you"? Or completely unload with every fucking thing he thinks he's put over on me that I've quietly noted? Or maybe something in between and point out that, if you don't want to have to move, maybe the first day your lease is up you should make damn sure the rent is paid and not make your landlord make a second trip for a second check?
This is like when he needed rental assistance. He told me he needed to bring the charity a copy of the lease along with the eviction letter. Since I already suspected he was attempting sneaky stuff, I made sure I followed the law to the letter and didn't get him the letter until 12:01am on the 2nd--even when he pestered me daily about when he could get the letter. Along with the required 1st class and certified mail, I did him the service of printing off and leaving him a copy that night. At the time the mailbox was overflowing and there were UPS packages on the front porch while I could see he was in the living room, playing X-Box. At a respectable hour of the morning he texted me to ask if I could get him a copy of the letter--so he just left the boxes out for the porch pirates overnight. I told him I'd dropped it off that night. Pretty soon he gets back to me to tell me he's realized he can't find his copy of the lease and wants to know if I can make him a copy of mine and drop it off. At this point I diplomatically lost my shit on him. He, of course got all offended and butthurt and tried to make it my fault and I explained to him that he creates his own problems and he has to solve his own problems. I can't solve them for him. This seemed to work for a bit. But I see he's forgotten this valuable lesson already. So I'm not relishing the time between when he gets the letter and when I finally get my keys back.
