Bad Purchasing Decision

[jack]

Good Purchasing Decision: Harvest Snaps Popper Duos. These are green pea crisps that are veggie only and have two flavors combined in one addictive little pop: BBQ and Ranch.

My newest addiction also comes in 2 other flavors... salsa and cheddar AND sour cream and onion.

 

[The Question]

Haven't seen those here. Of course, I haven't seen any of the shit I like here, either. The midwest is a cultural void.

 

[jack]

You can get them thru Amazon. I get them downstairs as I live over the glitziest little upscale health food store that even gets salmon bellies, for god sake.

Ever had salmon bellies? TO DIE FOR

 

[The Question]

Not an eater of fish, a'tall.

Oh -- new Purchasing Decision. Won't know for between 1-2 weeks whether it was a good one or not.

See, with the Feds cracking down on vaping (and, seemingly, all other forms of Tobacco Harm Reduction -- they want sick and dying smokers, not ex-smokers; rather, the pharmaceutical industry does.) -- people will shortly no longer be able to buy vapor products online.

Which is fantastic news for parents. Now your kid won't be buying a JUUL and vaping. No, now, instead, your kid will be getting hooked on traditional cigarettes, just like grammaw 'n' grampaw did. And dying early, and horribly, of COPD or lung cancer. Just like grammaw 'n' grampaw did. You fucking morons.

Anyway, I digress. Frequently.

Ordered a new "cigarette" while it's still possible to do so.

Ordered this one:

(Actually, the version of that that I ordered comes with a black frame and rosewood grips, but I couldn't find a good pic of that exact model.)

Don't worry -- Volpone will be here shortly to tell us all that that thing looks like a dick. He's guessing, of course; he's never seen a dick. 'Cause he hasn't got one.

But, not to be caught with m' drawers low, I also ordered a stack of The Next Thing After Vaping Even If The Nannies Get Their Way:

Yup, nasal snuff is the way to go if the Adolf Poppins set have their way.

 

[Volpone]

Have you considered a tobacco suppository? It seems like it would be an awesome buzz, but very likely to also kill you. So I need someone expend--experienced to research it. Just stuff a Skoal Bandit up there and tell us how it feels.

 

[The Question]

Try a millennial for that. If they'll eat detergent pods, they're clearly none too particular about putting various objects into various orifices in which they don't belong. I'ma stick with stuff where there's an actual reward. other than other peoples' approval.

 

[The Question]

 

[The Question]

Have you considered a tobacco suppository? It seems like it would be an awesome buzz, but very likely to also kill you. So I need someone expend--experienced to research it. Just stuff a Skoal Bandit up there and tell us how it feels.

Yes, we get it. Smoking is the way to go. As in, go. As in, you've got an emphysema fetish. Had you been present at Leonard Nimoy's deathbed, you'd have stared intently as he drowned in lung butter and busted a nut. Because you're sick like that. We understand this about you.

 

[Volpone]

I'm serious, man. If you've read anything about enemas, the body absorbs shit (no pun intended) a zillion times faster that way. Someone can get very sick with alcohol poisoning from an enema. So I suspect one of those little snuff pouches would knock you on your ass (again, no pun intended) if you took one that way. But I've also heard that a tiny amount of nicotine injected into the blood will kill you dead, so I suspect there's a very good chance you could die if you stuffed tobacco up your butt. But there's only one way to find out. Do it for Science, man. It's probably a good article anyway. If you won't be able to write about vaping soon, you'll need a new soapbox. You could become the Johnny Appleseed of butt tobacco.

 

[jack]

How the fuck did we get here???????????????????

 

[Loktar]

Fuck tobacco. If I'm sticking sticking stuff up my butt it will be weed. Weed enema.

 

[Volpone]

 

[The Question]

Here's a bitch who could stuff an entire tobacco plantation up her ass and live.

 

[C-40]

 

[C-40]

 

[The Question]

And now I've got the stoop anchor posting memes that make fun of stoop anchors. And, apparently, fucking up the quote function he's in such a frenzy to do it, too.

Fucking. Gold.

 

[C-40]

Baahahahahahahahahaaahahahahahaha

 

[The Question]

You never actually post anything you've come up with yourself, do ya?

 

[Charlemagne]

That implies that he's still even capable of coming up with something himself.

 

[C-40]

What was this thread about again?