A new Doctor Dave story
- Thread starter CaptainWacky
- Start date
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
"How...how did you know?"
"That's easy, I'm a detective, remember? Those drugs you gave me...I was still detecting even while I was dreaming! Remember the madman with no face and AIDS was a vampire? He represented YOU in the dream!"
"Of course, of course! Curses!"
"And you kept going on about drinking blood too! Vampire bitch!"
"I've never done it! Never killed anyone...I didn't want to. I hate being a vampire. But I'm so hungry...and you ruined my marriage! So, if ever I was going to kill anyone and drink their blood...it would be you! BLAH!"
"Not if I killed you first, whore!"
"How will you do that?"
"It just say happens that I have a STAKE IN MY PANTS!"
He reaches into his pants and pulls something out.
"Umm, that's your penis."
"Yeah, it is. Big, isn't it?"
"I've seen bigger."
"Where!?"
"I hang around with giants."
"That explains it! Giants?"
"You didn't know giants are real and friends with vampires? Some detective you are!"
"Anyway, here comes the sun."
"NOOOOO!"
"Yeah, you burn now, bye-bye!"
"That's easy, I'm a detective, remember? Those drugs you gave me...I was still detecting even while I was dreaming! Remember the madman with no face and AIDS was a vampire? He represented YOU in the dream!"
"Of course, of course! Curses!"
"And you kept going on about drinking blood too! Vampire bitch!"
"I've never done it! Never killed anyone...I didn't want to. I hate being a vampire. But I'm so hungry...and you ruined my marriage! So, if ever I was going to kill anyone and drink their blood...it would be you! BLAH!"
"Not if I killed you first, whore!"
"How will you do that?"
"It just say happens that I have a STAKE IN MY PANTS!"
He reaches into his pants and pulls something out.
"Umm, that's your penis."
"Yeah, it is. Big, isn't it?"
"I've seen bigger."
"Where!?"
"I hang around with giants."
"That explains it! Giants?"
"You didn't know giants are real and friends with vampires? Some detective you are!"
"Anyway, here comes the sun."
"NOOOOO!"
"Yeah, you burn now, bye-bye!"
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
"Okay! I admit it! I'm not a vampire! I'm a duck!"
"..."
"Just shut the curtains! I don't want to die! BLAH!"
"You ARE a vampire!"
"I know! You already guessed that!"
"But you just confirmed it...bitch."
"SHUT THE CURTAINS! I'm a good vampire. A vampire with a soul."
"So why drug me and tortue me?"
"Because...I love you!"
"Didn't you already say that?"
"I don't know! This has been going on so long I can't keep track of what I've said!"
"Me neither! Let's make out!"
"Okay!"
THE END
"..."
"Just shut the curtains! I don't want to die! BLAH!"
"You ARE a vampire!"
"I know! You already guessed that!"
"But you just confirmed it...bitch."
"SHUT THE CURTAINS! I'm a good vampire. A vampire with a soul."
"So why drug me and tortue me?"
"Because...I love you!"
"Didn't you already say that?"
"I don't know! This has been going on so long I can't keep track of what I've said!"
"Me neither! Let's make out!"
"Okay!"
THE END
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
I think I described her as hot in the first post, to be fair.
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
Good point, and that gets round any continuity errors!
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
Was this thread the moment Dr Dave became a detective?
AIDS lol. It was funny in 2008!!!
AIDS lol. It was funny in 2008!!!