Gems from Twitter

[Fuddlemiff]

Sad but true.

 

[Dr Dave]

Reminds me of the Chris Rock bit about the police.

 

[Cassie]

InfoSec Taylor Swift ‏@SwiftOnSecurity 7m7 minutes ago

I read a scifi story about a society with sex robots, but you had to keep them out of the same room because they'd sex each other to death.


I BET CAPTAINWACKY WROTE IT.

 

[Dr Dave]

That would be a reasonable conclusion.

 

[CaptainWacky]

I'd like to live in it.

 

[Cassie]

Counting Crows ‏@CountingCrows_ Apr 10

82 crows.

 

[Cassie]

Orlando Jones ‏@TheOrlandoJones 25m25 minutes ago

Momma done dug herself a hole. #GetIt? #YeahYaDo #MadeOJLaugh

 

[Cassie]

Orlando Jones ‏@TheOrlandoJones 9m9 minutes ago

He strikes again! #Beware!!!

THE TICKLER!

 

[Cassie]

Aubrey Plaza ‏@evilhag 22m22 minutes ago

MY GRUMPIES FOLLOW ME EVERYWHERE. TWECOGNIZE.

 

[Cassie]

MarkusJ ‏@MarkusJ 19m19 minutes ago

*opens apartment door for date* oh, sorry, you're going to have to find a place to sit down, it's a bit messy

I'M REALLY SORRY, OKAY.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

It would please me immensely if THE TICKLER turns out to be French.

And the nude Miss Piggy figurines? I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO UNSEE THAT OMGOMG

 

[CaptainWacky]

I wish The Tickler was a cute girl and that she'd attack me.

 

[Cassie]

Popehat ‏@Popehat 12m12 minutes ago

All politicians squander stolen money. I wish American politicians spent it on awesome things, like giant robots. Turkish mayor sued over giant 'Transformer' robot statue - Africa - World - The Independent …

Turkish mayor sued over giant 'Transformer' robot statue

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

I guess that Family Guy episode didn't translate as well over there.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

This could also go in the GOT 5.1 thread OR the Top Tens for 2015 thread...

https://twitter.com/AnnaKendrick47/status/587649710329962496/photo/1

YOU TELL EM SISTAH!!

 

[CaptainWacky]

They only show the tits of extras now so they barely even count as tits.

 

[Cassie]

LeVar Burzum ‏@drugleaf 47m47 minutes ago

the new bjork times sent out a tweet looking for "teens who vape". I thought it'd be funny to email them & say "im a teen & i love too vape"

LeVar Burzum ‏@drugleaf 47m47 minutes ago

that turned into me giving someone a fake interview under an alias. that interview was used in a web article. this article is in print now.

LeVar Burzum ‏@drugleaf 43m43 minutes ago

THE RAPPER LIL UGLY MANE

 

[CaptainWacky]

It's a fookin' disgrace!

 

[SAUSAGEMAN]

Ed Miliband just found out what YOLO means.

 

[CaptainWacky]

And he's still the cooler than Cameron!