Gems from Twitter

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

Well all the vampires are in Louisiana, so it's not that far a trip to the man's driveway.

 

[Dr Dave]

I think I really would like to live there.

It is a nice place.

 

[Cassie]

daniela rubio ‏@Dyyelaa Jun 3

Me after I eat a salad

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

I'd hate to see what he looks like after TOSSING THE SALAD.


























...or would I?

 

[CaptainWacky]

He's going to marry a carrot.[/Simpsons reference]

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

"Maybe WE should kiss to break the tension..."

 

[Cassie]

hiba ‏@iatemuggles May 16

Why are these people attacking the father of modern medicine

 

[CaptainWacky]

I hate hippogriffs.

 

[FBI parte due]

https://twitter.com/erowidrecruiter

 

[Cassie]

Use Ruby to get some ladies

 

[CaptainWacky]

Your LinkedIn profile showcases an impressive background, particularly in the trip build-up.

 

[Cassie]

Rhys James ‏@rhysjamesy 5m5 minutes ago

1. Piss on her first and see if she's into it.

 

[Dr Dave]

I don't even...

 

[Cassie]

Stock Porn Comments ‏@PornComnents 27m

 

[Cassie]

Tim Murphy ‏@The_Tim_Murphy 7h7 hours ago

This velociraptor just hissed at me

(Tim Murphy played the boy in Jurassic Park, he tweets about being traumatized by dinosaurs a lot)

 

[CaptainWacky]

It would be funny if his life really was ruined by Jurassic Park trauma.

 

[Dr Dave]

That can also be posted in the geese sighting thread!

 

[Cassie]

Danny Charnley ‏@DanKCharnley Jun 4

"People fear what they don't understand," Guy Fieri whispers to himself in the mirror, applying more bleach to his pubes.

 

[Cassie]

Donald Trump is trending on Twitter, so I checked the tag...

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

"I identify as Buckwheat."