Little Cunt Paperboy

Gagh

Χριστόφορος
My local newspaper was delivered late today - just after 6pm. I was sat in the living room eating my dinner - I had put the milk money out for the milkman 10 minutes previously (I usually do this before I go to bed, but THE FOOTY IS ON!).

Sure enough, the dodgy little cunt had swiped £2.70 of £2.95 I put out. I got out the front door, and the he was on his bike, legging it, leaving his mate stood there. Needless to say his friend was introduced to some highly impassioned invective, and a demand for said thief's phonenumber (he was on his phone), which he declared he did not have. I think he shat himself, poor chap.

I've just reported the little fucker to the Newspaper Distributors. Call back Monday, and Police involvement will be necessary. I don't give a fuck about the money - just the principle. I don't want that little shit on my doorstep again, because if I do see him, he may be walking away with the milk money, the milk bottles, and the bottle holder inserted into his anus.

The little fucking bastard cunt - aaaarrrrrgggghhhh!!!!
 

WillsZenith

a treat for missmanners
little cunt........make him pay!!!!
 

Fuddlemiff

Is this real life?
I think this has the makings of a popular children's story book, title and all. A tale of morals and milk money.
 

Cassie

Touching the monolith
Staff member
KICK HIS ASS!

Also, milk money? You guys still have milk delivered to your homes? That is kinda cool.
 

Gagh

Χριστόφορος
KICK HIS ASS!

Also, milk money? You guys still have milk delivered to your homes? That is kinda cool.

Indeed we do, if we choose to pay for it. I'm a lazy fuck, ergo I choose to pay for it!
 

Fuddlemiff

Is this real life?
Most people round here stopped getting their milk delivered years ago, partly because they didn't like having to tell the man when they were going on holiday or wouldn't be around for Christmas.

I wonder why the papercunt didn't take the remaining 25?
 

Gagh

Χριστόφορος
That's what got me - why leave that? Did he make it want to look as if the milkman had been? What a dumb little shit. It'll be the most expensive £2.70 he's stuck his filthy little mitts on, farkin' little tea-leaf!
 

Cassie

Touching the monolith
Staff member
He probably steals a little bit from everyone when they put money out early.
 

Gagh

Χριστόφορος
How could they not fire him after this?

Lack of proof, for one, but the law and his employer's would need to ask themselves quite what anyone would have to gain in making something like this up.

Even if he isn't fired, I never want him on my doorstep again - that's the main thing.
 

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
Metal feet time.
 

Ishcabittle

Member
two pounds?! that's like thirty american dollars!
 

Donovan

beer, I want beer
You should negbomb him and flood his cp with giant smileys. That REALLY seems to work well lately...
 

Tisiphone

Elitist Redheaded Trollop
I want a hot milkman to deliver his cock to me.

Yeah, I know. I just can't help it sometimes.
 

Fuddlemiff

Is this real life?
Yeah, bet he could fill YOUR bottle with milk ANY time!
 
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