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Little Cunt Paperboy

I like a little cream in the morning. SHAZAM
 
You've got a milk mustache!
 
I never miss a drop.
 
Wow, you live in such a simpler place...I miss that life.

Over here, the theft victim would start a Facebook campaign against the little shit.

NO ONE WILL EVER LOOK AT HIS FARM AGAIN! :shock:
 
you shouldn't be drinking cows milk.
 
All paperboys are brainwashed by Christian Bale, the Newsie Pied Piper:

[YOUTUBE]1N7H-i7nczY[/YOUTUBE]
 
I can't believe I saw that in the theater...
 
His mate delivered the paper today just as I was stepping out to get my lunch. I asked him where the theiving little shite was, and he said "I'm filling in for him".

I when back in to put the paper on the side and pick my sunnies up. As I got round the corner, I saw the lad, and what looked like the light-fingered toerag. I caught up with them by the newsagent's at the top of the road, so now I know where they deliver from.

I shouted, "Where's my money then, Fingers Malone", and stood right in this kid's face - he denied being the lad from yesterday, but more or less gave himself away by blurting out "I can get you your money back, do you want your money? Do you want the money?", obviously shitting himself.

I let them both know I'd called the newspaper distributors, who want to get the police involved, and fully intend seeing it through. I asked them how they'd feel if I had stolen some of their property from their own doorstep, which prompted "pissed off" as a reply. I just shouted "Damned right I'm fucking pissed off" in this kid's face. One of them gave me a name of the kid that supposedly done it.

I let them go, told them they were lucky they didn't have broken hands (I'd never lay a finger on a juvenile unless physically provoked, and only then to restrain). And now we wait until Monday, when the manager of the distributors call me back.
 
Your controlled violence is turning me on.
 
CATFIGHT
 
How did you know his name was Fingers Malone?
 
I'm glad he's on our side!
 
Let the wookie win
 
you have to be careful with kids that age. you may get him fired.

and he KNOWS WHERE YOU LIVE!

do you guys have Mischief Night over there? cuz if I was brazen enough to steal your milk money, I'd do some harmful shit if you got me fired.
 
Cock said:
you have to be careful with kids that age. you may get him fired.

and he KNOWS WHERE YOU LIVE!

do you guys have Mischief Night over there? cuz if I was brazen enough to steal your milk money, I'd do some harmful shit if you got me fired.
Click to expand...

And it would be at that point that I start breaking hands, wisearse.
 
Gagh said:
And it would be at that point that I start breaking hands, wisearse.
Click to expand...


No, man. I'm serious. You don't remember being a kid? They have all day to fuck with you. eggs, toilet paper, flat tyres, burning bags of shit, you name it.

go easy.
 
You're talking about GTA-addicted American kids, who are too smart for their lazy, ignorant parents, and learn to be hitmen and gang members by the age of 10.

These are the coaldust-nosed scamps who live in Gagh's humble hamlet squire. Or something.
 
I grew up in a rural-ish suburban development. There were 2 houses that we were unmerciful to. The Fathers were assholes. The cops would come 1/2 later, and we would melt into the woods unseen. Never got caught for any of it.

I'm just saying be careful.
 
So what he should just let them take shit because they might come back and egg his house?

Fuck that.
 
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