SPAMCAPITAL OMEGA: THE REMAKE OF THE REMAKE OF THE SPAM

[The Dork Lord]

They were looking at the table (which was spread out in
great array); for these young housekeepers are always nervous
on such points, and like to see that everything is right.

 

[The Dork Lord]

"Fred!" said Scrooge.

 

[The Dork Lord]

Dear heart alive, how his niece by marriage started!

 

[The Dork Lord]

Scrooge had forgotten, for the moment, about her sitting
in the corner with the footstool, or he wouldn't have done
it, on any account.

 

[The Dork Lord]

"Why bless my soul!" cried Fred, "who's that?"

 

[The Dork Lord]

"It's I.

 

[The Dork Lord]

Your uncle Scrooge.

 

[The Dork Lord]

I have come to dinner.

 

[The Dork Lord]

Will you let me in, Fred?"

 

[The Dork Lord]

Let him in! It is a mercy he didn't shake his arm off.

 

[The Dork Lord]

He was at home in five minutes. Nothing could be heartier.

 

[The Dork Lord]

His niece looked just the same. So did Topper when he came.

 

[The Dork Lord]

So did the plump sister when she came.

 

[The Dork Lord]

So did every one when they came.

 

[The Dork Lord]

Wonderful party, wonderful games, wonderful
unanimity, won-der-ful happiness!

 

[The Dork Lord]

But he was early at the office next morning.

 

[The Dork Lord]

Oh, he was early there.

 

[The Dork Lord]

If he could only be there first, and catch Bob
Cratchit coming late! That was the thing he had set his
heart upon.

 

[The Dork Lord]

And he did it; yes, he did! The clock struck nine. No
Bob. A quarter past. No Bob. He was full eighteen
minutes and a half behind his time. Scrooge sat with his
door wide open, that he might see him come into the Tank.

 

[The Dork Lord]

His hat was off, before he opened the door; his comforter
too. He was on his stool in a jiffy; driving away with his
pen, as if he were trying to overtake nine o'clock.