THE APPRENTICE starts tomorrow

[CaptainWacky]

The good thing about last year's series being delayed for so long is that the wait between it and this year's series has been much shorter. Well, it's good if you like The Apprentice, if you don't or if you're just FUCKING SICK OF IT then it's not a good thing. LOOK HERE'S THE CONTESTANTS I BET THEY'RE ALL CUNTS.

BBC - The Apprentice 2011 - Candidates

Not a looker among them, so I don't know which girl I'm going to support. Maybe Felicity because she seems to have breasts. Vincent looks certain to be this year's utter cock. All the men seem to have weird eyebrows.

I'm picking Glenn Ward and Susan Ma to win, for no apparent reason.

 

[Fuddlemiff]

Felicity or Susan seem hottest (well, that's not really the right word is it?), but the promo photos always make everyone look hideous. I'll have a read about them later and decide who I'm backing (and therefore who will get the coveted second place, despite being better than the winner).

 

[The Tomtrek]

Well maybe one of them will have a really nice personality...?

 

[Fuddlemiff]

NO - THIS AIN'T NO POPULARITY CONTEST, MATE, THIS IS A TWELVE WEEK "WHO LOOKS HOTTEST OUT OF THE ONES THAT AIN'T BEEN FIRED YET" CONTEST.

I DON'T HAVE NO TIME FOR ANY LOVELY LARRYS OR MOTHERLY MARYS. YOU CAN BE "NICE" ON YER OWN TIME!!

 

[CaptainWacky]

Remember when Stella wore a bikini.

 

[The Tomtrek]

And all the guys were very creepy about it? Yeah.

 

[headvoid]

Alan Sugar says "We are back in business, BIGTIME" during the trailers.

I nearly wet myself.

 

[Fuddlemiff]

No wonder FILTHYRECWHORE'S been too busy to post all these years!

 

[CaptainWacky]

Edward was pretty funny. What if he was this year's Brand and we've lost him already!? But he was shit so he had to be fired.

Jim (The Soup Man) seems like a good solid male choice for winner. Glen was good too but maye a bit too ANGRY.

Melody (the woman's team leader) was annoying. Will be fired early. I thought Susan was good because she was the only one suggesting that they spend more money, but in the preview for tomorrow's she was fighting with the weird black woman SO MAYBE SHE'S SHIT.

Good episode!

 

[Fuddlemiff]

Yeah, good episode, although Edward was so incompetent that it didn't leave any room for speculation about who would go once we found out which team won. He was lucky no one mentioned that it was his fault the juicers didn't work/ceased to work after he told them to "squeeze the balls off of it".

Black woman's silent peeved expression and occasional passive aggressive statements were amusing. I hope somewhere down the line she has a good argument with the woman who was trained by the Dalai Lama/Tony Benn/Ghandi/JFK/Friedrich Nietzsche/Dave Benson Phillips.

Soup Man was really good in the boardroom and I liked his banter with the Tomato Man.

The white version of Moss from The IT Crowd was another welcome addition. Must be the first person to say sorry like that to Lord Alan after going out and actually making him money.

 

[CaptainWacky]

Yeah, that saying "sorry" was a bit weird. He could either turn out to be a classy hero OR A SLEAZEY BUTT-KISSER.

 

[CaptainWacky]

THE SECOND EPISODE IS ON TONIGHT REMEMBER.

 

[The Tomtrek]

Well... hmmm.

Both the Apps were shit. One was annoying for no real reason other than the girls thought that people would want that, and one was low-brow and a little bit racist.

But the girls won again so... I don't know.

But the boys PM, Leon, is soooo weak willed it's amazing. All Jim had to do was say so and he switched him out of the final three. Jim will be interesting to watch.


I'm officially putting Helen as my "Girl who I will like even though she'll probably do bad things and I will be the only one who likes her".

 

[Fuddlemiff]

Jim's an obvious winner... so shock firing next week?

Slangatang was shit, but at least it seemed like the kind of shit that shit people would download, just a shame the boys missed a trick by doing something UK-centric, when they had a global audience to consider. The boys should've won. AmpiApps was just a mess.

 

[CaptainWacky]

So the one I thought was Glen was actually Gavin (the angry scouser one, not to be confused with the angry Irish one.) Confusing. Glen was alright too.

I thought the boys would have one because at least theirs had a consistent theme and I could see it appealing to stupid people. Whereas the girls one was like Homer Simpson's first webpage.

Alex (was that his name, I've forgotten already) was so anonymous that it's no surprise he was fired. Leon is shit too, of course! Jim seems like a good solid pick. Poor little Susan seems to be in over her head. And how crap was Edna? What were those gloves? WHAT WERE THEY?

 

[The Tomtrek]

Yep so, well organized team won (FUCKING JUST), team in shambles lost. Pretty much how I was hoping it to go!

Vincent is really annoying. Jim managed to be creepy in a really charming way. Maybe he's literally Satan?

Gavin was right to be fired!


Still backing Helen all the way!

 

[CaptainWacky]

The way it's going, Jim will be the only man left in a couple of weeks.

Tom's eyes are getting crazier.

I'm glad Gavin was fired since I was still confusing him with Jim at times!

Susan did quite well I thought. She's young and makes mistakes but she works hard and she's quite likable so I'd like her to last long (she won't win.)

I liked when Felicity said "how greedy does one have to be..." about the hat guy.

Helen looked nice in the few seconds she was on screen.

Next week's will have the boys being all pervy again so that should be fun.

 

[Fuddlemiff]

Not sure which one Helen is. For some reason I start to get muddled if there's more than one woman with blond hair.

Gavin deserved to go, which is a shame since he seemed like a nice bloke. But he fell apart completely and sometimes couldn't couldn't couldn't even s-speak. OMG GUYS WHAT DO YOU THINK AS A GROUP - COLLECTIVELY?

Susan's a lot nicer than I thought from the limited amount we'd seen of her before. I thought she was one of those overly direct people who always get things wrong, but it turns out I had her confused with Melody "it's CLOSH-AAAAAAY even though I don't know what a cloche is!" Hossaini.

Vincent's a bit of a tit, but he's no Baggs the Brand, is he? They're struggling to find hate figures this year.

 

[CaptainWacky]

Helen has dark hair. I think she's quite pale (let's face it, she must be if Tomtrek likes her.) She hasn't done anything at all yet!

Maybe one of them will turn out to be racist.

 

[The Tomtrek]

She's also really skinny which is alright because she's not so skinny that she looks like a creepy skeleton.