Utahraptor--A Different One

[Gonad]

Re: LOL

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Posted by Utahraptor on 03 January 19100 at 0959:

In Reply to: What's New posted by Gremlin on 31 December 1999 at 1730:

Mom's house? Boy are you ever off. Shoulda stuck wiht Doof's Jar Ajr. It was a real insult. Though I guess if you think Yutz is right, then use it. No one to blame but yourself for skipping Putz. But hey, when you have morons controlling you, we expect that. I heard of being yerked, but never jerked. But of course, Wooden Head seems to affect you as much as Yutz effects me. So I guess Yutz is a insult in your "sad, lonely, oepidal little world" as you so stupidly put it. Course, I neevr siad I was the smartest. I said I;m smarter than the moronicateers. Who all agree to ebt he superior beings around hrre. Course, none of them have yet to master learning patterns yet. And still you insist your part of the 4% of geniuses. Yet the top 2% is the menza people. So somebody sure couldn't cut it with the big boys. No wonder Wooden Head likes to make himself up so big. At least Doof and SImpleton encourage him. Though wiht their constant persecution fo me, they only make others believe I'm right, and that they agree whole heartedly. But that's the real problem. A bunch of morons convinced being wrong makes them idiots. And I proved them wrong. Hence the overwhelmign stupidity. Like thinking calling me names is a good way to hurt me. OUCH! 3rd grade metality gets you butkis. And allt he while, our poor little puppet laments about all the stupid people constantly houndign him, and all the horrid jokes the universe loves playing on him. Ladies and Gentlemen, realities perrenial Arthur Dent. Well, you make your own troubles. But don't worry, one day you'll be free, and be able to semi think again. As of now, we can all laugh at your stupidty and inferiority complex. So, by words alone, Mestopheles beta em up? Hmmm. S cientifically impossible. Especially when she needed to chaneg identities,a nd call in ehr firend sto fight ehr battles. Yet I still posted unde roen name, and never asked for help. Got some, but never requested such. And since everybody gave up on trying to "beat me up", and let their friends try, I actually "Beta them up". Or the word equivalent thereof. But hey, if you really wnat to find shame in being beta up by a girl, well, no wonder you're sexually frustrated. Womanizing sexists who take pics of 13 year old flashers aren't the cat's pajamas to females. Maybe for gremlins, but who knows. Little idiot creatures who live at night. Go fig. And what an idiot Wooden Head became. He corrects me on the imposibility of having a negative infinity IQ, though seems to think aomebas have brains, and humans cna actually rent a brain. Oooh. Genius tlaking. Sorrry ALbetr Einstein beta you as man of the century. perhaps is you used this supposed, non existant gray matter of yours, you would have doens oemhting. Hiding awya writing books that cna't be published, and even when you try it yuorself don't ever see the light of day, gets you no genius recognition. Poor, poor Arty. I'm sure tons of people would love to know how useless a computer degree is. Where is your degree? Can't seem to fidn it or your masters, oh superior one. Perhaps you cna make an MPG of Doof smashing it in his usual mindless fits of frustrtaion in trying even the simplest of tasks (the secret is to bang those stones together, monkey man.)
Thouhg by far, the stupidest thing Woody eevr did was how he tried to show off his superior intellect. Seeing that humans were stupid (How'd he manage that? Help from Prometheus?) he decided to prove his own intelligence by doing eveyrhting backwards. Afetr all, he reasoned, if stupid people do this, than anyone seeing the opposite performed must be smart,a nd be erceived as such. So into the night our fav little idiot ran, foresaking the popularity of religion, smoking his lungs out, beliving in no aliens anywhere (A very small minority) and assuming the idenity of Grmelin, convinced people might be impressed by the willing use of a cute little "monster". A new Pokemon perhaps. But hey, at least he kenw Pinky's a mouse, but that's not his last name. Brain is a last anme, however, though I'm sure he msised the point. Elmer Thing does fit. Elmer Fudd he is. Here's a shocker for you, Woody: Clark Kent IS Superman. Ut oh, I confused him. Betetr not try to shatter his belief that Batman is the mask worn by Bruce Wayne. COurse, anybody who sees a site who's mainstay is a boardd for ranting only really doesn't have a clue on what amkes a sad little board. Perhaps this was another attempt at inuslting me? Seems all he can do si say Yutz is an idiot. Guess the latter makes Yutz more of an insult. Weirdo. The inability to think of anyhting nrw, original, or creative is shocking from the greatest genius enternity has ever known. alld ay long is you're an idiot, and somr variance thereof. Sure, it works in Des Mones, but here's a guy convinced he actually needs to use more big words on me tos crae me off. Sure. Afetrlal, all other uses only got him What from me. Surely now I'll go crying for help. Unitelligent, uninsiteful, unerudite responses do not cause such things. Then again, people lrave when he calls them an idiot just to escape the ever growing stupidity. And then there's all the e-mails peopels end him wondeirng why I'm so stupid. And the proof is where? In faked addies being created, of course. Every wrong person says how much e-mail they egt praising them, yet never seem to have any, be it for proof, or voting for them, or even being acknowledge. But, hey, living in a fnatasy world is fien for thsie whoc na'tt ell fnaatsy from relaity. And Wooden Head's reply to this, is just going to confirm it. Still too stupid to figure it out. So easy, and yet imposisble for him or his masters to gather. Well,a t leats he's trying. Making sure I can always post here, while his "friends" slowly disapear, and even slowing down posts here to trick them into leaving, work nicely. At leats we found out Simpleton's problem. Lack of an eductaion. God, does that ever explain everything. And ocne gone, we cna all go abck tot he joys of peopel positng who can detect patterns. And who might figure out an insult when they use one. Maybe Sunshine and her manly hands can e-mail thme the definition of insult. Too much time spent memorizing big words. Not enough memorizing their mranings. How sad. A sis claiming I've been banned, disappeared, and yet still expecting my return. Well, get less boring, and you won't have to cover lal the bases. NEver did figure thta out. Trying to getrid of me, and leaving no fun for yourselves. But no one ever accused the moronicateers of being smart. The worng year for a millennium, yes. Them being smart, no. hence why our resident geniuses haven't cured paralysis, created an internet thay can move fast without phone lines, and cure dieases. Or at least figure out what is and isn't an insult. Yup, we're in the presence of greatness here. Really self absorbed, cnceited, selfish greatness, but greatness none the elss. Perhaps next puppet boy cna learn what soemone who is fille dof slef loathing is like. Chekc your messages. You clealry suffer delusions of grandior, and hate yourself, and your life. IS it any wodner you needed to create Transvesite Barney just to get a date. Apparently the rubber women all sprung leaks voluntarily. Can;t say thta I balme them. Moronicateers defnitely have big peniuses. Just the thing to ruin a girls good time. One look, and way they go.
Well, tiem to leave you all to read our hapless idjits attempts at dealing with me, and making sure to do it wrong. So simple, really. Be. . . .

 

[Gonad]

Re: Simpleton, You Called Yourself A Hapless Idjit. HA HA!

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Posted by Utahraptro on 25 January 2000 at 0735:

In Reply to: Well, tiem to leave you all to read our hapless idjits attempts at dealing with [ Utah's illiteracy] posted by The Imp on 04 January 19100 at 0342:

You know, one must seriously wonder about the intelligence, sanity, and life of someone who has nothing better to do than endlessly attack someone's use of the English character set. Besides thinking it'll cause a change, or anybody still cares all these years later, it's the fact that it's nothing more than a group of symbols representing sounds someone thought up before anyone else even could glean their meaning.
Perhaps in response to this post, you can explain your serious lack of a life. We'll wait for future installments explaining your stupidity, insanity and psychoticness. Youc na get help for that last one. Lobotomy, actually. Tell them to go to your left side, at your speech centers.
BTW, ever figure out the definiton of INGORE yet? Hmmmm? I'll give you a hint. It's not what you think it means. Well, here's hoping you've improved your puppeteering skills. No one will hold their breathes, my self confessed idjit. Man, you are a maniac.

 

[Gonad]

Re: Twelve 'o' five and still alive

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Posted by Utahraptor on 03 January 19100 at 0815:

In Reply to: Twelve 'o' five and still alive posted by Jurassosaurus on 01 January 19100 at 0513:

: OK so it's actually 12:09 right now and it will be much later after this thing is actually sent off, but I wanted it to rhyme.

: As one can see by the time on this post, the year has come and gone and Y2K has been all bark with very little bite. Guess those programmers did it after all. That or the chips are waiting for us to let our guard down

: Anyway happy new year to all. Enjoy the idiots on TV celebrating "the millenium."

Millennium. Two n's.

 

[Gonad]

Re: The most flammable night of the year......

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Posted by Utahraptor on 03 January 19100 at 0827:

In Reply to: The most flammable night of the year...... posted by JP SUPERFREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! on 01 January 19100 at 0841:

: It turned over 1 hour and 15 minutes ago here in arizona. Smooth as silk (noisy, though). I just have one fear that Y2K might bite us in the butt...Eh, its probably nothing, but...OK, here goes. As you know there are dozens of volcano monitoring stations in Hawaii (which has yet to be struck by the false millennium)and these all use sophisticated computer equipment to predict eruptions. Has anyone checked to see if these are Y2K compliant? What if a failure of this equipment caused all of the volcanoes in hawaii to erupt at once? Then, all of the volcanos in the world would erupt, causing worldwide earthquakes, tsunamis, polar icecap meltage and all around carnage, devastation, and the end of the world.

: Ok, I'm joking.

: I think.

: I hope....

: Guys?

Since the computers can't control the volcanoes, I'm going with no.

 

[Gonad]

Re: The most flammable night of the year......

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Posted by BangBang the Raptor on 25 January 2000 at 07:05

In Reply to: Re: The most flammable night of the year...... posted by JP SUPERFREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! on 03 January 19100 at 2152:

: Have you ever heard of chaos theory?

Yup

 

[Gonad]

The Millennium Idiots Have New Fodder

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Posted by Utahraptor on 03 January 19100 at 0811:

The 2000 Is The New Millennium followers have some proof on their side now. You see, In 1740, French astronomer Jacques Cassini instituted the "astronomical
calendar" to do away with the awkwardness of time calculations using A.D. and B.C. from the Gregorian calendar (our common calendar today).
So:
1 A.D. = year 1 in the astronomical system,
1 B.C. = year 0 (yes, year ZERO),
2 B.C. = year -1, and so on.

Which makes this the new century, and the new millennium, based on the astronomical calander, which isn't widely used. Thus making me originally right when saying this was the enw century. Don't know where Wooden Head got the idea I said the millennium was in 2000, but his chart actually showed me how to add 100 to 1, not 2000. And thus wrong on 2001 being the new millennium, as I previously said. Course, since no one saying it's the new millennium is actually using that calander. And taking in the 4 year error anyway, we see that anybody using a calander in use today is wrong, and therefore we really need to learn the Earth's true age, and go from there. Which could throw off everything, since it might not be based on our 365.4### ways.

 

[Gonad]

An Open Letter to BangBang

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Posted by Gremlin on 05 January 2000 at 2258:


Dear Stoopid:
A few minutes ago, I had nothing better to do [I was trapped behind someone who looked a lot like Eddie Deezen, and who was driving a 1974 Vega, at a green light, waiting for him to work out where the accelerator had got off to] so I devoted a few seconds to the unfortunate matter of your existence.
Then I spent another couple of seconds considering the redundancy factor, and decided that there are enough new lurkers to this board to justify this. So: you're an idiot. Yes: you. Not anywhere behind you; turn round and look at this carefully. You: idiot. Imbecile. Moron. A little slow. Means well, but. A complete and utter plebeian.
This is why.
To respond to your most recent delusions: you were banned. If you don't believe that, notice that you're no longer using the same ISP to reach gremlin.net. That's right: someone sneaked in and switched your dialup on you. That's why you were able to return after all this time. You were banned, because you're the only one who wants you here. The rest of us would prefer that you got your own website--even something at GeoCities would do--with a message board--even one of those free thingys they'll give out to anyone with a GeoCities site--and...okay, I'm joking; you already have all that; but, for some odd reason, you're the only one who ever posts anything to your board. Why? To be blunt: No One Likes You.
Now, let's take a moment and notice exactly how dumb BangBang is. It doesn't really matter what brainless system equates BC1 to Zero: there's still no Year Zero, and, if there were, it would--according to this stoopid, stoopid idea--remain in the BC range, designating AD1 as the first year of the first millennium. Two millennia--two thousand years--plus that first year still equal 2001. It's called math. If the sitcoms you fill your life with ever mentioned math, you'd think you were a mathematician. And, of course, no system of measurement has ever produced a year with 365.4 days in it; you're groping for 365.25, Stoopid.
There's still no such word as 'unerudite'.
You're not an alien; you've never met an alien; you have no idea what you're talking about regarding alien life; you're an idiot from Earth who claims to be jewish, yet is neither judaist nor Israeli, judging from your posts. You've claimed to be an atheist, a judaist, a buddhist, and some sort of new spin on a technocrat. Still, you're simply an idiot. That, I think, is clear to all.
For a very long time, I hesitated banning you. For all the EMails, et cetera, that I got from regulars and lurkers alike pleading for me to ban you-even threatening to leave if I didn't ban you, I hesitated. Simply because Jurassosaur seemed to get on with you, for reasons unknown. I waited until he began to complain, on the board, about the flamewars to ban you. Then: I did.
Then you switched ISPs after only two months and found your way banging back.
The question: to ban your new ISP, or to let you post these idiotic things for a while. That's what I spent nearly a minute pondering while I was trapped behind the Guy Who the PostNixon Years Forgot.
And I came to a decision. And you might even be qualified to understand it. It involves television.
Something Swyndle could tell you about, if he weren't so justified in insulting you all the time, is that my expertise runs into unusual genres. One of them is television, and marketing in general. I don't watch television, because it's really very dumb, and utterly predictable. Because every show is the same.
There's a formula to a successful sitcom. It works like this.
A sitcom has to have at least four elements from a list of personality types. The really good, successful shows feature an intelligent guy--Dietrich on Barney Miller, Stires on M*A*S*H, Frasier on Cheers, Flytrap on WKRP, MeatHead on All in the Family, and so on. The show can survive without that character, but it's insurance, since the intelligent people watching the show and the adverts will stay tuned. You also need a crass character, who says outrageous things to inspire laughter from people disqualified from understanding the smart character. For that, we have such personalities as Swyndle and Vigo; they fill that necessary role, and keep the audiences coming back. It also helps to have a nutty character--Johnny Fever, Klinger, and so on--who produces the unexpected. We have that. Superfreak and Hunter post some pretty weird things, to add to the variety.
Two critical personality types remain, and without both of these, no audience will stay tuned at all.
One of them, of course, is EveryMan. Sam Malone, Travis on WKRP, Hawkeye on M*A*S*H, and so on. Without that character, no one will watch. Fortunately, this is an interactive medium, so the audience are the EveryMan in the equation. They can post and respond all they like, and actually alter the plotline. History in the making, as it were.
But even that would fail, if not for the Village Idiot. You. BangBang. JarJar. Yutz. You. Without you, the experience isn't complete. Without you here, posting the dumbest things anyone could ever try to decipher, the rest of the regulars, and even the lurkers, might begin to fear the worst: that, without you, specifically, they might be the dumbest people on the board.
Amazing as it may sound, your presence on the board isn't actually a detriment. It's not actually welcome, but it's not precisely damaging any of us at all.
You, BangBang, are The Global Village Idiot. You are the dumb, loser character which the EveryMen will watch to feel smarter than someone explicitly. You can't hurt this board, this site, or the 'net at all. You merely give the audience something cute and harmless to pity.
You're Woody on Cheers. Strike that: you're Cliff on Cheers. You're Radar on M*A*S*H. You're Natalie on the Facts of Life. You're Applegate on Married: with Children. You're Homer Simpson. You're Brainy Smurf. You're Pinky Mouse. You're Stimpy. You're half the cast of South Park. You're Betty White on The Golden Girls. You're the dumb one who makes the smart one the straightman. You Costello; me Abbot. Dig?
And this is not a secret. No one here takes you or your tantrums seriously. And some of us know a lot more about you than you think we do. You don't simply mistype words. Your misspellings are static. Like Alan1, with his ubiquitous 'typeing out' annoyances, you repeat your own mistakes again and again. Anyone who reads enough of your posts will eventually catch that. You do this intentionally.
For that, I can almost believe that you got a degree in the oversaturated field of computers. Almost. Except that your website--or, to be accurate, the website we know about--is far too remedial to have come from anyone who's ever taken a computer course. You're either lying about your degree, or doing a hell of a lot to make us believe you're an idiot. And I really don't care which it is. And I really don't care whether you post things here. I could ban you again, and you could switch ISPs again. I'd only be buying time. And, really, you bring enough hits to the site, and generate enough interest in our little broadcast microcosm of a message board, that I can allow for your existence, and simply avoid your posts in the same way I avoid television--because I have far better things to do than to remind myself that I'm smarter than average by witnessing the actions of a typecast idiot.
So: there it is. Post; don't post; live or die; I really don't give a damn. I win either way.
And I don't expect you to make a decision and stick to it anyway. You'll always regret whichever you do.
--Gremlin

 

[Gonad]

Re: DISH!

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Posted by Utah Friend To The Gays Raptor on 26 January 2000 at 0836:

In Reply to: SPOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNN!!!!! posted by JP SUPERFREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! on 24 January 2000 at 0259:

Let us run away togethrr, forever.

 

[Gonad]

Re:Big Surprise Doof

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Posted by Utahraptro on 25 January 2000 at 0729:

In Reply to: Re: What's New posted by Vigo on 25 January 2000 at 0627:

: hey grem,

:
: remember a few nights ago at the secret hangout whilst we were discussing ad schemes, and i brought up Micheal moore..... guess who was at hte Dollar theatre tonight. yeha i wasa dogma and he was watching three kings... its funny i have met bunches of rock stars, a producer who is responsible for some of the greatest albums of the last decade, yet i meet Micheal moore and i felt like a 15 year old girl at a nysuck show.
: i am out

: -v-

Big surprise. Doof confused as to his age/gender. Since all your pictures show you with that brainless stupor on your face, it's no wonder. Every pic you have that clueless look on your face, that shows your inability to grasp even the simplest things. Ooo ooo ooo. Monkey want a Nana? My favorite is with you and Gremmy having him take you pics, and you can't quite seem to grasp what's happening. "Huh? Wha? Duh, me spirit be geeting stolen? That unpossible." Well, nice to find that 252 Pokemon, Huhduhwha. Shame your confusion attack only works on yourself. But look on the brighter side, my cognitively challenged fiend (Ooo ooo ooo. Monkey want a Nana?) The new Return Of The Jedi DVD will contain the lost scene of Princess Leia's group orgy with the Ewoks. I know how that Chief Chirpa gets your mouth drooling. No Viagra for you with him there. For someone so against pretending that something ficitious is real, you sure couldn't wait to see mroe EMpire Strikes Back. and an obvious lie, too. That's not even a rumor. That's an out right lie done on purpose to fool the lowest of the lows, dumbest of the dumbs, the brainless monkey men incapable of discerning the real from the imaginative. In otherwords: YOU!
Man, what a moron. At least you still get to watch Leia give the Ewoks some Oral Sex in the Star Wars: Return Of The Jedi DVD. Lucky you. Sorry that Han's ensuing Ewok masacer scene didn't get included. Maybe in the director's cut.
BTW, did you ever figure out why Corey has that 8 on the back of his neck? I know how upset you got when I pointed it out and you didn't know (didn't listen when he told everybody, did ya?) I'll giva you a hint. There are 9 member sof Slipknot, and they're mostly known by numbers. And 8 is a number (hint hint, wink wink, nudge nudge.) And he "can't be behind the 8 ball", moron, because it's the back of his enck. He'd be in front. Didn't realize that joke would be too hard for you to grok. Sorry.
Ooo ooo ooo. Monkey want a Nana? Man, what a moron you are. You even look ultra dumb too. But it has to be said at leats 3 times. Man, what a moron

 

[Gonad]

Re:After You And Everybody Asked Me To Stick Around? Never!

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Posted by Utah Friend To The Gays Raptor on 26 January 2000 at 0837:

In Reply to: Let's hope he changes message boards... posted by Mephistopheles on 25 January 2000 at 12:03


Now, who shall I have the pleasure of addressing my next reply to? Your alter ego, or one of your friends? I wanna tailor my reply to them. I like to make it more personal, don't you know? Wll, of course not. Expecting you to show any signs of overwhelming intelligence, let alone even underwhelming, is just too big a miracle to occurr. Oh well, Gorgon. Keep at it. Maybe one day you'll get amalgamated with a fly. Hope you can handle the intelligence rush of a fly's brain, my cognitively challenged mythological Greek chick. I'll be watching.

 

[Gonad]

Re:Wow, You Asked. You Actually Couldn't Tell. Well, The Answer Obviously Is . . .

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Posted by Utah Friend To The Gays Raptor on 26 January 2000 at 0803:

In Reply to: changed you name i see huh? posted by Vigo on 25 January 2000 at 0718:


huhduh wha whuduh hauduh huhwha duhwa duh duh duh wha huh wha duh.
(Translation for all others): Yup.

 

[Gonad]

Bang Bang The Raptor? Boishanoi!

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Posted by Utahrapto on 25 January 2000 at 09:06

Gremmy, I know your wooden head can't think logically, usefully, or even at all, but Bang Bang? You call that an insult? Can you please explain where the insult in Bang Bang, or even Yutz is? You seem to be missing the point of insults. You wanna actually hurt someone. Not give them a good laugh. Wow, now we get to add flaming and insulting to your list of words you have no comprehension for. Did you at least have the decency that even a spork or gazeebo would have, and rig up at least 6 different, randomly rotated pathetic attempts at insulting? I mean, Bang Bang? That's pathetci, even for your usual low, pathetic attempts at degradation. I know you can't reply with anyhting intelligent, insightful, or erudite, but Bang Bang? Sheesh! Boy, is sexual frsutration really getting to you. You get women so excited theat they're about to sleep with Jeff Goldblum, and then disappoint them with that oversized Der Weinerschnitzl. Poor sex for them. When they get upset, you actually have the nerve to call them crazy. Perhaps if you at least waited a few days before taking my girlless insults to throw back at me, you might have been believed. Course, it's nice to have "Mom's house" to take a girl to without having to sneak around. Sorry you forgot to take into account the squeaky floorboards, but you never were swift in the cabessa? Nespa?
Bang Bang?
Since you are so sure I don't know what I'm talking about, ever, I'm sure you wouldn't mind explaining for me correctly what the Pleiadians are doing here? I tried, but alas, I know not what I talk about. So, eternity's greatest genius, what's the real deal? Why are they here? Why are they abducting people? Why are you so sure they actually spend their days anal probing people? (Not that there's any evidence to support they did this on a daily basis.) And why'd they stop doing it? Remember to be very descriptive in your answer, and none of that aliens don't exist bit. Besides basing that theory on probability (Possibility is the biggie dumb dumb), and on Douglas Addams' matehmatical calculaiton of 0 lifeforms in the universe (you're a bit too obsessed with him. Even LK1 copied his style way too much), you must play devil's advocate and explain as if you were one of the infinite who believe in aliens, as you know everyhting, and I know nothing. And a genius can very easily do this.
Course, I'm still waiting for you to supply this proof of your super genius status. What with you not inventing anyhting, presenting any formulas, discovering or curing, and making the most rookiest mistakes in dealing with people online, it is seriously lakcing evidence. Case in point: You know that's it's impossible to have an IQ of negative infinity, yet you believe aomebas have brains, people can rent brains, and for some strange reason, unlike a negative infinity IQ, of which you claim no one can functon, having no brain activity is possible (you never did correct Doof on that one.) Biasi and favortism does not exclude overwhelming stupidity. And you have a plethora of that. I mean, really, aliens sending one of their own to Earth just to misspell at people here? Oi Vey. And what's this of being a Net wide problem? You and the Moronakateers are the only ones with a problem. You claim I'm a problem at Jurassosaurs board, yet no complaints eminated from there. Ditto's Dan's board. How can soemoen who claims to be so smart, actaully liken poor spelling to dislike? Then you create these moronic scenarios, like trying to describe me only to deny it, or assuming what channels I watch while litering (yeah, right), then actually act like it's real. Man, what a moronic loser you are, Gremmy. Can't you even keep sawdust up there?
Hopefully you'll continue with the little dorks and geeks, because as everybody but you knows, geeks and dorks are extra smart. I can always use more ego inflating. Come on, flaming joke, follow Hoser's wishful thinking and destroy me. Utterly utterly destroy me. Which really puts you down for saying I'm not smart. Make up your mind. Either I am or I ain't.
And where are your posts defending me as you claimed in Oct? Was it when you loved my Hutch Busters idea? Or the Jahova Witnessess answer of "Don't call us, we'll call you?" Actually, all your posts prior to Sep did nothing but favor me, as well as afterwards to keep me here. If not for your flame loving "friends", the Grempire would still be such a happy place. But no, they love to rant and rave, and have thus turned this once wonderful and fun board into Rantapalooza, thanks to their successful take over of your very will and thoughts. And you didn't even see it coming. Much like Julius Ceaser. But don't worry, I'll help get you unjerked (though you don't seem to notice you are), and then everything will be fine. Until then, keep believing your parents lies of your mind numbingly high IQ (which was done in a desparate attempt to encourage you to do well in school. You know, that place with those bathrooms you smoked in for 7 or 8 years?) Never did understand your obsession with IQ's. Intelligence can't be rated by anything standardize, and still you hark on it as the prove all method. Yet yours is so surprisingly low. What kind of super genius can't answer a simple questions, and instead flames because someone insists he's part of a mass literary conspieracy? And you expect anyone to believe that after 9 books, you wrapped up every loose end. How? You're too stupid to keep track of that many loose ends. And what's with that sudden curiosity about my IQ? Eveyrbody knows you'll claim that whatever answer I give is a lie. So, why bother? But if you really wanna know,a nd are going to actually accuse me of lying with absolutely, positively no proof, I might as well lie big, and obviously (so you'll miss it. No big whoop.) it's 3Billion and 3. Kinda makes calling mr a lair redundantly monotamous. And monotamously redudant. And what's with this sudden knowledge of every board/news group/mailing list/ guest book/chat room/etc that I grace with my presence? How do you know how much eladership I exert? It's only here I'm not at the forefront of communciations. And thta's because so many people are too stupid to know being wrong if even that), doesn't make them stupid. Course, most places don't have idjits following suit and trying to impress the lamewads by emelating them, like Swyndle and Mac do here. Not that anyone is impressed by their copy cat capabilities.
BTW How does it feel to have ruined 2.5 boards? First you really blow it at Universal's Net Forum with Alan1, creating a major unstoppable monster. Then you nealry ruin Dan's when Alan1 shows up. And now, here at your own board, by letting your "friends" run rampant and out of control, while everyone else here begs and pleads for the insanity to stop. And I'm a Net Wide problem (Which nobody can undersatnd.) We'll add this description to the list of words you haven't mastered the meaning of yet. Tis ony fair. Since you like me so mcuh, and can't ever bear to see me go. Look how upset people got this past summer? I couldn't show up everyday, and things fell apart. I left form boredom, and thigns go to hell in a handbasket. People post less and less, you concentrate on writing those books you can't even find all the typos in anymore, Boishanoi! And the world is going to eat me alive? You've been eaten and spit out. All you do is hide in restraurants in the wee hours of the mourn, creating a smokescreen to hide from the stupids who only come out at that time, and rant about your miserable day. Well, at least I can be abrely qualified to do simple tasks. Poor you. Not even fit to be a door mat. Tsk Tsk Tsk. It actualyl too you thta ong to figure out how to stop answering what movie you were watching?
And your way too obsessed with science via the 5 sense. Besides living in a world where the 5 don't cover much, you forget it's based on human misunderstandings. Science can't be used to explain everyhting, because science is human understanding of thing based mostly on natural observation. This alone proves God's existance. Too much is unexpalinable by science. Science shows matter in the universe traveling past the speed of light, and measures some star ages to be older than the universe itself. You even believe Karma is nothing more than coincidence. Yet too much happens to be coincidence. In fact, it's too much of a coincidence to be coincidence. There's more to it than 5 senses of sceince. You can't even figure this one out, and we're supposed to believe your the smartest one ever. How? You have done nothing for us, cured nobody. All you do is hide from the world, crying about how the mean old world was too hard for you to beat.
Might as well save you hopes of people ever coming to this board once your books get released. Poeple don't like to post in places where they'll get flamed for holding a different opinion. Hence all the lurkers here. You helped make them too scared to post here. You claim to like different views, yet hate mine. You claim to hate yes men, but hate me, whom you already admitted to not being one. Are you that stupid? Or are you that big of a liar? You can't ever expect to be taken seriously if you can't even br consistant. Heck, yuo say nobody ever takes me seriously, yet you and the Moronakateers do. Well, by your standards, I've already fooled you once. Though that's deabtable, I did fool you a second time, in Oct. So defintiely once, if not twice by your moronic counting. And we're all to believe your the universe's greatest genius throughout eternity? How? Man, what a moronic loser you are. You don't even know which hand a duck, a pig, and a rabbit ate their soup with. You're too busy pondering the anthropomorphizing of them. Some super genius you turned out to be. Can't even buy that animals can eat soup. And you wonder why the world is so stupid. Because if being smart means being likw you, doing what you do, thinking (and I use that term as losely and ficticously as possible) like you, then of course no one wants to be smart. It's better for eveyrbody that way.
Bang Bang The Raptor? Man, do you have no life what so ever. Can't even think of a good NOTS title without someone else's help. Someone more stupid than you, by your whacked out belief system. Anoher reason noone really posts here (and then only rants at that). Nobody but you wnats to go someplace where an insane idiot will vehemently insist that they're stupid.
And one possible conspieracy theory does not make em oen to post them here. Believing Dave Thomas is stealing your paycheck is suffering from consperiacy theory. Believeing in purposely misusing words and writing loose ends is a conspiracy post. Those are people too obsessed with conspiracies. Maybe if you spent more time learning your scientia, and less time memorizing big words, yet not their meanings, or even the meanings of simple words like flame, well, that is your problem. Quit trying to make us all suffer for it.
Why don't you just solve all your problems once and for all by putting on your precious black trenchcoat, driving with your Colorado plated car to the nearest police station, and run isnide brandishing your gun, screaming, die idiots die. And that's not German for The Idiots, The. You're patehtic. You gripe about stuff with no proof, get mad when I supply your proof for you, can't even read the parts spelled right, and are jsut a compete and utter moronic loser, convinced the world owes you everything, and your height somehow makes you immune from smaller people's attacks. Way to think, Goliath. You're even too afraid to show your face Netside, or write a book with your own name on it. All you do is take other's ideas (Grempire from Star Wars: Shadows Of The Empire, my insults, etc), and Doof says I'm not original (And reads everything I write anyway.) You have to make me look like an idiot, twist my words around, take things out of context, add stuff to them, use the worst posisble examples to prove your point, and call me names just to make someone else believe I'm actually stupid. This whole board, and your NOTS are nothing more than testaments to your fondness of me, and how highly intelligent you think I am. You take me too seriously, don't know a joke when you read one (and trust me, you have lost here for a lawyer, representing Seinfeld or anyone to get the death penalty) and insist everybody agrees with you while endlessly having to show them why you're right. All the while endleslsy calling me names to show how smart you think I am, and how much you admire me. Go ahead, call me idiot, dummy, dork, geek. I can use the ego boost. You complain about me replying line by line, and do the same, twisting things around, and saying the same thing over and over again. I'm an idiot. And look what it got you. I'm still here, not changing my ways, no one but your soc alled friends and their suck ups believe you, you're being controlled by your "friends" and your ruining your own safe haven.
What a pethetic, moronic little fuck you are, dung boy. Don't even know an insult when you're called one, or how to insult someone at all. You live in a fantasy world, hiding form the harsh reality that kicked your butt. You wnat sex? Quit putting down women. Even if someone could ebat you up with mere useless words, the fact that a girl did means nothing. As equals to guys, it's to be expected. Until you lose shame voer this, crazy chicks are all you'll ever get.
You're a waste of everything, empty skull and all. You have all the reasoning powers of a gronion. You find everything you don't understand menaingless. You let a guy misspelling quotes from ficition get to you big time. Pathrtic. You're completely and utterly useless. You don't even exist. You're nothing more than a bunch of text and incomplete CGI pics. all you do is cry about the unfair hand in life you feel you've been dealt, bother innocent "Jesus Crispies" at their chat room, simply by daring to say, "Oh no Gremmy. You're wrong. God does exist." Man, what a pathetic, moronic loser you are. For a nonexistaing entity. I guess you wouldd escribe yourself as a small nocturnal creature sent to Earth to destroy happy Net places. And that can only happen if we choose to acknowledge your existence. And I for one, chose not to. Erego, you don't exist. Your inevitable reply of nothing more than You're an idiot does not exist? You're questioning of why I reply with trogolodite responses to thsoe I get does not exist, your NOTS where you claim to post my final thought of the board which naturally is no longer being applied to reality is gone, and most importnatly, you do not exist, because I no longer chose to acknowledge your existance.
Bang Bang The Raptor. Ha! Troz!

 

[Gonad]

Re: If You Don't LIke My Posts, Then Leave.

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Posted by Utah Friend To The Gays Raptor on 26 January 2000 at 0827:

In Reply to: Fuck off. posted by Mephistopheles on 25 January 2000 at 1139:

Nobody's making you read my posts. Since you choose to, you must accept my posts as is, with no complaints. To do otherwise is to casue far too much trouble, and not even you can have no life as to want to do that daily.
Now, who shall I have the pleasure of replying to next? Your alter ego, or onef of your friends? I wanna know in adavnce to tailor my reply specifically to them. Makes it more personal, don't you know. Well, of coruse you don't. That's expecting too much from you. Whoever you choose to be today.

 

[Gonad]

Re: Hoser, So Stupid He Actually Thinks Calling Someone An Intellectual Is An Insult

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Posted by Utah Friend To The Gays Raptor on 26 January 2000 at 0819:

In Reply to: Utahraptor: Humanity's most compelling argument for birth control; a veritable intellectual punching bag posted by The Host on 25 January 2000 at 23:05


First off, allow me to apologize to your parents for not being aware of contraceptives when actually conceiving you. Second, aspirin will help cure your massive migrain from struggling to think up of that subject line. Next time, don't eat your mommy, and she'll help.
Perhaps if you ahd any brains, you'd be able to think of a snappy come back for once. For that matter, you'd figure out that you can have many more flame wars here by attacking everybody else, not just me. I'm not always able to show up here everyday. Now, how about explaining to us all what your post even hoped to accomplish? Am I still not here? Is it not true that no one even bothered to reply to your post, or agree with you? All you succeeded in was creatign a flame war where one would not have existed, with no hope of seeing it through, or replying intelligently. Heck, you had to use McaBeth as an insult. Yes, you are correct sir. Your posts are little more than tales told by an idiot. For tales have points and can accomplish something. Your's have not. In fact, you have helped guarantee my continual posting here. Figures. You really helped screw things up with Alan1. Can anybody ever expect you to do betetr? No of course not. Nobody even cared when your computer stopped working for 2 months. Or when you became far too busy to grace us with your patehticness even on a once a month level. And still you continue to post here, convicned you are actaully making a positive difference. And by butting in where you are not concerned, just because there currently isn't a flame war to enjoy. But where is the joy when everybody is jumping down your throat for causing another one when we almost were free of a potential one? Where is your joy when you see your post did not even phase me one bit, Hoser. Where is the joy in knowing that to fight a quoter of media, you had to use Francios Bacons plays? It's 2000 AD now. Get with the times. Your old ways are all but extinct, and hopeless. But without a brain, what can you ever hope to accomplish. You can't even get a good flame war going, Hoser. Go see the Wizard. He's in Kansas, you know.

 

[Gonad]

Re: We Should All Be So Lucky.

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Posted by The Overlord on 30 January 2000 at 0720:

In Reply to: I'm speechless. posted by The Host on 26 January 2000 at 17:09


Tell me again, Hoser, about how awful it is to reply to a plane crash with "Major Bummer *NT*" while you refuse to reply to US school shootings? That's not the kettle, Mr. Pot. That's a mirror. Hypocracy is not tolerated in any country really. I'm surprised you didn't already know that. And you shouldn't aks for more feelings on it, and get mad just to learn that the leaders of the world would actually kill the top AIDS researcher just to keep the disease (And subsequent money flow, going). You wanted more, you got it. I was only trying to spare your feelings. You should ahve thnaked me, not flame me. And all you did was get that thread ended. While I wasn't even here for 3 days as you were doing it. Brilliant. GEe, I'd hate to mention how the US Gov stopped that cheap Cancer cure from being made. But I doubt you could handle knowing ABC news covered it.
Well, since you like MacBeth so much, allow me to explain the signifigance your life will ever amount to, my little nothing of a nobody:
Hoser, Hoser, Hoser: Beware the citizen of the USA!
Hoser, Hoser, Hoser: Your stupidity shall flow, until burning mad marches on high dunce who's a pill!
Hoser, Hoser, Hoser: Long shall you post useless messages. For none of goodborn can be harmed by you!
BTW I hear a moose stealing your wallet. Betetr catch it, quick.

 

[Gonad]

Re: Finally, Someone Capable Of Noticing A Name Change

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Posted by Utah Friend To The Gays Raptor on 26 January 2000 at 0819:

In Reply to: To Utahrapho,Utahrapo, or whatever he calls himself: Some Helping Hints posted by Flashtalon on 26 January 2000 at 0113:

After all this time, one who can notice the subtle differences, especially when last time there were bigger, mroe obvious ones. Though most people here tend to miss the obvious.

 

[Gonad]

Why God Loves Gays Over Heteros

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Posted by Utah Friend To Gays Raptor on 26 January 2000 at 08:06

It's amazing how many people stand there insisting that God hates gays, and would condem them simply for being gay. It is really the hetero people losing face. A gay person does not go around attacking heteros. There's never been a report of a hetero bashing. Murders, rapists, theives, embezzalers, etc have alwasy been straight. Hate crimes have never been caused by gays. It's the heteros doing these rimes, and these sins. Add to it the Hetero judging of gays, and the Christian leaders trying to convert gays because they have judged their homosexual brethern as sinners (plus it's a way of lfie you're born with. You can't change it), and you see the great "saviors" are destroying themselves. Sure, stereotypically, gays are great decarators, are great with colors, and can remembrr every show tune around. Very friendly and happy people, really. Quite a moronic reason to hate them. And the Bible never once mentions gays are bad. Every reference to it is by someone claiming that the passage about going forth and being fruitful implies (or they infer) that not doing so is a sin. Specualtion doesn't count folks. Add to it the fact that God killed off the human race before, is ready to let humans annihilate themselves soon, and you can clearly see that by not reproducing, you're in good with the Big Guy In The Sky. Gays also help control the overpopulation problem, and give orphaned kids a better chance of finding a home. All heavenworthy acts.
Of course, gay abshing leads to problems of its own. One basher went in to ahev a tumor removed from his, er, brain (hint of true badness there), and suddenly he's gay. He claims the doctor screwed up and made him gay (a scientific impossibility),a nd when the new gay on the block demanded money compensation, the doctor laughed his ass off, thus pissing the idiot off even more. Had he been nice to his gay bretehrn, he'd have no tumor, or sudden realizaation that he was always gay to begin with.
So, love your gay brethern (not neccessarily make love to), for if you don't, you'll spend eternity paying for your closed mindedness.

 

[Gonad]

Re: Mephistopheles, How Utterly Predictable. Originality Is Coller.

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Posted by The Overlord on 30 January 2000 at 0747:

In Reply to: Why God loves everyone but you... posted by Mephistopheles on 26 January 2000 at 1848:

If you're gonna play with the big boys, at least try something called originality. I was expecting a subject like this since I chose mine. But, cognitively impaired people always did react based on a simplistic style. So easy to predict. Your postings are quite amusing to me. Comical really. And I love the health benefits of laughing.
But you're right. God doesn't love me. Love is too weak a word to describe His feelings towards me. Course, chosing the handle of an enemy of God, makes you an even bigger loser than before. So, did this reply accomplish what you wnated Did I reply as you anticipated? Who shall be replying to me next, since you hate to do it yourself? I like to, did you ever have that creepy deja vu feeling?

 

[Gonad]

Re: Have You Ever Even Smelled The Flatulence Of An Elephant? You Shouldn't Make Similies You Don't Know For Certain Are True .

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Posted by The Overlord on 30 January 2000 at 0720:

In Reply to: You kidding? Him turning out to have something redeeming is like blindly believing that the flatulence of an elephant has no odor. -nt- posted by JP SUPERFREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! on 27 January 2000 at 00:06:05:

 

[Gonad]

Re: Jewish, Not Jwish. And Aliens Don't Have Human Religions. And Unlike You, I Don't Name My Ass.

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Posted by The Overlord on 30 January 2000 at 0713:

In Reply to: An open letter to Ultrahumper, or whatever the fuck you call your "I'm a jwish alien who defends queers and hates everybody who has a different opinion than me" little ass. posted by JP SUPERFREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! on 27 January 2000 at 00:02

Actually, you all hate anybody with a different opinion from yourselves. I welcome it. If you had bothered to ever read any of my posts, you would have already known it.

: Oh yeah, one more thng. YOU SUCK!
Real original. Ouch. Call 911. No, wait, it's a real emergancy. Call 912. and thta's 2 more things. You is one, Suck is two.

BTW I've seen your pic. You're one to call anybody names, Weirdo. Only a sucky person would pose like you did.
PS You've just added a big red mark with that queer remark.