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Wacky Reviews: Star Trek

In Theory - Data is talking to a female friend (Jenna) about her love woes. She seems to have a thing for Data because he's a good listener, unlike those blasted human men! They talk to Miles and Keiko about married life (Miles always leaves is socks on the floor!!!) Meanwhile stranges things are happening on the ship like, umm, a tricorder falling off a table. What a subplot! Jenna keeps talking about how funny and kind Data is and tells him he's handsome. She kisses him and Data's confused. He's goes to Guinan for advice but she says he has to figure out love for himself. Spot escapes Data's quarters as part of the SCIENCE FICTION MYSTERY subplot. Data goes to his friends for advice, starting with Geordi (who is shit with women.) Troi tells him to be careful since this isn't just another experiment for Data. Worf warns Data that he'll kick his ass if he mistreats Jenna. Riker basically says "she's hot, hit that, bro!" Picard tells him to fuck off. Data decides to go for it and brings her flowers. He kinds of spoils things by telling her he's running a new programme for romantic relationship, but wins her back by saying she has a whole subroutine to herself. They kiss and it cuts away but I guess they didn't have sex unless he lied to the Borg Queen in 'First Contact.' The sci-fi plot HEATS UP as, umm, some stuff falls off Picard's table. Jenna brings Data a present but he just wants to keep painting. He finds it hard to understand why people say things that they don't really mean.

The Enterprise finds that a planet is missing. Now the table and chairs in the Observation Lounge get fucked up as things are getting a bit more serious (Data mentions transparent aluminium in a nice continuity moment!) As the next part of his programming he says "Honey, I'm home!" when going home to Jenna and generally starts acting like a character from a sitcom. It all gets a bit creepy as he talks about her "silky hair" and stuff. He even starts arguing with her like married couples do, saying "perhaps there's something wrong with YOU!" It's pretty clear that Data's just putting on an act again. She asks Data to kiss her and then asks what he was thinking during it. He lists loads of stuff. It's pretty funny but also sad for her! It's clear that the relationship won't work but there's still like 12 minutes left in the episode. The spatial distrubance starts acting up and a crewman ends up phases through the floor in a nightmarish image. I was trying to remembef if this was THAT episode! I was making fun of the sci-fi plot at first because it felt quite half-assed (stuff keeps falling off tables!) but this is a really memorable moment. Someone has to pilot a shuttle to lead the Enterprise through the distrubance and Picard says he's going to do it...for some reason? He basically just says "it's my ship, I've got to do this" but doesn't explain if he's like the best pilot onboard or anything. It's very strange and not as cool as that time he piloted the Enterprise through an asteroid field or whatever it was. Anyway, it's still an okay action scene. The shuttle starts breaking up but O'Brien saves Picard just in time. Data and Jenna are about to have another date but she says they need to talk. She explains that she went from a relationship with an unemotional man to a man not capable of emotion. She thoroughly explains the tragedy of trying to date Data and he understands completely and isn't bothered at all that she's ending the relationship. He says he'll delete the appropriate programme. Spot jumps up on Data and he robotically tickles him/her.

Okay, so as I alluded to earlier it's starting to become really noticable that every TNG episode needs a tacked on sci-fi plot and its never been more tacked on than this one, which for most of the episode is basically just stuff falling off tables. It definitely picks up in the end with the chilling scene of that woman phased through the floor and Picard having to fly the shuttle, but you could take the whole plot out and it wouldn't make a difference to the main story of the episode. It's not too bad or anything, just something worth commenting on! Anywa, the main plot is quite entertaining most of the way through but it's the final scene that really elevates it to something great. It all seems pretty light-hearted until Jenna kindly explains to Data why he'll never find love...and Data doesn't really care at all because he has no emotions. It's one of the best uses yet of Data's robot nature and the final shot of him blowing out the candle while Spot sits on his lap is nearly as haunting as that woman trapped in the floor! So yeah, this is a pretty good episdoe with a great ending!

SCORE: 8.5/10
 
Redemption: Part 1 - The Enterprise is heading to the Klingon homeworld where Picard is to attend Gowron's inauguratio. He urges Worf to finally clear his name to the High Council. Gowron intercepts the Enterprise and says they must prevent a Klingon civil war. The Duras family and their allies are ready to claim leadership of the Council, with the Duras sisters Lursa and B'etor leading them. Picard explains to Gowron that he can't interfere, which Gowron should know, really. Worf finally tells Gowron that it was Duras' father who was working with the Romulans. Gowron tells Worf he still can't give him his honour back so Worf goes to shoot stuff. Guinan likes shooting stuff too! Worf stupidly says "Klingons do not laugh!" because they getting to the point where Klingons are getting a bit more stereotypical. Anyway, Guinan pep talks him into requesting a leave of absence and Picard says "K'plah!" Worf goes to the ship where Kurn is Captain. Kurn is not a fan of Gowron. He wants to wipe out the whole Council and begin a new era of actual honourable Klingons. Worf says they can't regain honour by acting dishonourably. Stop saying honour so much! Picard serves his role in Gowron's intallation and speaks in Klingon again, but some kid (Toral) shows up to spoil the party! He's Duras' son and he's got Lursa and B'etor with him and their cleavage (women aren't allowed to sit on the Council, because Klingons are sexist fucks.) We see the sisters are working with Romulans, including the shadowy female who sounds exactly like Denise Crosby. Picard accuses Worf of using his Starfleet position to interfere in internal Klingon politics (Worf is using Federation records to show that Duras' father worked with Romulans.) Picard understands how he feels though because he's trying to stop himself from interfering and makes the files available to all.

Lursa and B'etor try to win Picard over, offering him tea and sexily stroking his bald head. They tell Picard they want the Federation on their side, but PIcard says they're manipulating the situation like Romulans. Oh snap. Picard as Aribator of Succession says Kid Duras has no claim to being Chancellor. Toral says the Federation shouldn't dictate Klingon low and some of the Klingons follow him even though he's a brat. Worf tells Gowron about Kurn being his brother and says he can get the Klingons loyal to Kurn on Gowron's side. Gowron still won't ally himself with Worf while Worf is in Starfleet. Gowron's ship is attacked and Picard orders the Enterprise away from the conflict because it's an internal Klingon matter, leaving Worf behind. Worf helps Gowron (well, he kind of has to since he's on the ship too) and Kurn shows up to save them. Gowron can finally be named leader with Kurn's support. Gowron gives Worf's family its honour back. Gowron STILL wants Federation help (seriously, give up, dude) and Worf begs Picard to say yes. Picard still says no. Worf asks for a leave of absence to fight in the war but Picard says nah. Worf resigns his commission. Worf dresses up as a Klingon and packs his stuff. Picard goes to see Worf. He says he's spent all his life with humans but he wants to be a Klingon now. Worf walks to the transporter room with all his fellow officers lining the corridors. It's cool. Then we finally get to the reveal that the shadowy Romulan woman is Tasha Yar in a wig!

Okay, so "Tasha Yar is a Romulan now?" isn't quite as good a cliffhanger as "Picard's a Borg now and also possibly dead", but not many things are. So I'm just going to judge this episode by itself rather than compare it to BOBW. It's a good episode, a good season ending cliffhager. The Picard/Worf stuff is strong. Kurn and Gowron are always welcome. But it's not quite as good as the previous Klingon politics episodes, which were great. It just feels less intense? It all feels a bit like a repeat of stuff we've seen before. Lursa and B'etor are decent villains but Toral is just a little shit and it's not made clear at all why so many Klingons would follow those three. I mean we hear that the Duras family is powerful but what does that actually mean? They seem like losers to me. But like I said, it's a good ep which builds to a strong climax with Worf quitting and Romulan Tasha is definitely a WTF moment.

SCORE: 8.5/10
 
Toral is Trump. Racists and Nazis and rich robber barons know he's a senile idiot just like everyone else does, but they saw him as the way to ride into real power.
 
Redemption: Part 2 - We start with an exciting action scene of Worf and Kurn on a Bird of Prey, flying towards a sun and warping away at the last moment to kill some other Klingons (it makes sense when you watch it!) Picard is telling an Admiral of his suspicions that the Duras family are getting help from the Romulans. He wants to send a fleet to the Klingon/Romulan border to expose any supplies the Romulans send, and the ships will create a tachyon field to detectcloaked Romulan ships. He's thought this through! There's a lack of ships and Captains so Picard makes Riker the Captain of one ship. Data asks why he hasn't been given command and wonders if it's because Picard thinks it isn't time for an android to command a ship. Picard sees his point and gives him command and that's why TNG is good! Worf and Kurn go to a Klingon party with their enemies where they all arm wrestle and punch each other. It's good that we actually get to see that some of those loyal to Duras are just normal Klingons. But Lursa and B'etor are there too being cartoon villains. Data introduces himself to his new first officer, who instantly requests a transfer because he's roboracist. Data denies his request like a bad guy. O'Brien is serving as Picard's temporary first officer, which is great. Sela tells Toral to shut up. Someneon challenges Gowron's leadership and they have a fight. Worf tries to stop it but Gowrons knifes the guy to death anyway. Data's first officer keeps doing stuff without asking Data first. Sela reveals herself to Picard to throw him off his game. She reveals that Tasha was her mother and Troi says she's telling the truth. Guinan comes to Picard and gives him the plot synopsis of 'Yesterday's Enterprise'.

Worf is still annoyed that Gowron keeps fighting his own people. Kurn is sick of Worf's whining and walks out on him, just in time to miss him being abducted. Picard meets Sela face to face and they exchange veiled threats before Picard asks how she can be Tasha's daughter. She confirms that Tasha really did go back in time and was raped by a Romulan general. She's dead now. Again. Four year old Sela betrayed Tasha to her father when she tried to escape. Luras and B'etor get rapey with their prisoner Worf. They want Worf to mate with B'etor and be a father to Toral. He's not up for it. Picard tries to trick Sela by opening a gap in his tachyon net, but she's too smart. Data's first officer yells at him for disobeying orders even though Data is obviously right becauae he's Data. He's pretty racist. Data finally raises his voice (not out of anger, just because it's necessary.) The first officer reluctantly follows orders and Data exposes the Romulans. Sela decides it's time to go home and abandons the Duras sisters. Worf escapes. Data comes to Picard and says he disobeyed orders, but Picard says Data did the right thing. LIKE A HUMAN WOULD DO. Gowron offers Worf Toral's life because Toral's family took Worf's honour. Worf won't kill him even though Kurn says it's the Klingon way. Kurn is fine to kill him but Worf won't let that happen either. He goes back to the Enterprise and that's that.

It's certainly an entertaining episode. It's really fast paced and full of action. But it's also kind of all over the place and doesn't really feel like the second part of the previous episode. I mean that episode was all about Worf's internal conflict between his human and Klingon sides. This part has NONE OF THAT until like the last minute. Worf pretty much does nothing for most of it! Picard and Data get more screentime, and Data's story is the most entertaining part. Then there's Sela. It was a big shock when she appeared at the end of season four and here we find out that she's Tasha's daughter...and that's about it. It makes no impact on the story! So she's Tasha's daughter...and? It confuses people for a couple of minutes until she explains it. Otherwise she could have just been any other random Romulan. She only exists as an excuse to get Denise Crosby back in the show for a few episodes. It's not a bad thing or anything, it just doesn't turn out to be a big deal. So yeah, it's a good episode like I said, Picard and Data get good stuff and Worf refusing to kill Toral makes sense. It's just a bit random in places.

SCORE: 8/10
 
Darmok - The Enterprise is due to meet with an "incomprehensible" race known as the Children of Tama. They keep talking about proper names and locations! They mention someone called Darmok a lot, and Shaka. Suddenly they beam Picard and their own Captain (played by Paul Winfield, Captain Terrell from WOK) down to a planet, and stop the Enterprise from beaming them up. Also lol at the season five opening credits. Picard JUST HAPPENED to be wearing a weird jacket variant of his unifrom (with turtleneck underneath!) when he was beamed down. Seriously, he didn't know he was going to the planet, why was he wearing that thing? He refuses the offer of a knife from the Tamarian Captain (I'm just gong to call him Dathon now), thinking he wants to fight him. But Dathon gives Picard fire to to keep him warm so maybe he isn't actually a bad guy? The Enterprise tries to rescue Picard but the Tamarians stop them, without doing any damage. Data and Troi view footage of the Tamarians and find that the name Darmok comes up a lot. An invisible monster attacks Picard and Dathon and Picard finally takes the knife. Ashley Judd is attractive.

Picard kind of starts to understand Dathon a bit: he talks through metaphors. The Enterprise gets a transporter lock on Picard just as the monster attacks. Dathon is badly injured and Picard can't help him because he's trapped in the beam. He ends up back on the planet because O'Brien can't hold him. Troi and Data explain the Tamarian language to Riker. Dathon tells the Darmok and Jaled story to Picard, how they thought a monster together and became friends, and PIcard realises that he's trying to recreate it. Picard tells him the story of Gilgamesh just before Dathon dies. It's a really nice scene. The Enterprise finally manages to rescue Picard just as the monster attacks again, but has to fire on the Tamarian ship. He goes straight to the Bridge and talks to the Tamarians in their own language, getting them to stop their attack.

This episode is a good example of some of the best stuff about Star Trek. Picard and the alien Captain start off the episode not understanding each other, but end as friends and with Picard able to communicate with the previously incomprehensible race. Patrick Stewart is great as always in all the scenes on the planet and Paul Winfield is a worthy co star for him. The only downside is that the scenes on the ship aren't as good and go on a bit too long.

SCORE: 9.5/10
 
Ensign Ro - Picard is getting a haircut(!) from the talkative Mott the Barber. The Enterprise is called to the Cardassian border (Mott warned them not to settle there!) where "The Bajora" claim responsibility for an attack on a Federation colony. Picard is briefed by Admiral Kennelley, who has a cold. The Cardassians have had problem with terrorist Bajorans for forty years, ever sinced they annexed the Bajoran homeworld. And now they're attacking the Federation! Everyone is sympathetic to the Bajorans but also Kelley wants the dealt with. A Bajoran officer named Ro Laren (Michelle Forbes) is transferred to the Enterprise by Kelley. Everyone is disgusted by the fact that she's on the Enterprise because she did something disgraceful on her previous ship and ended up in prison. Riker instantly tells her not to wear her earring. But Worf can wear that bigass sash? Picard wrongly calls her Ensign Laren when the family name actually comes first. You'd think Picard would know that, to be honest. The Enterprise is going to meet with a Bajoran leader who Crusher once danced with. Ro rolls her ideas at the idea, he's a token Bajoran who important people invite to their parties. She suggests a real leader they should meet with who won't ask them to dance. The Bajorans are all poor and cold and stuff. The Bajoran leader won't help Picard because the Federation did nothing to stop the Cardassians abusing the Bajorans for forty years. Picard gets blankets for everyone so he helps. Ro shoots down Troi and Crusher's attempts to sit with her, which is great. Guinan is of course interested in someone who nobody else likes and continues to do Troi's job better than Troi. They become friends pretty quickly. But Ro sends a SECRET message to Admiral Kennelley.

Ro beams down to the Bajoran Terrorist cave before the rest of the Away Team, who are held at gunpoint when they arrive. The terrorist leader has half his face blown off and speaks with a voicebox. He says it wasn't the Bajora who attacked the Federation outpost. Picard confines Ro to her quarters and Guinan goes to see her. Ro admits she's in trouble. Guinan says she was in trouble once and Picard helped her. Guinan takes Ro to Picard where she tells the truth: Admiral Kennelley got her out of prison in exchange for arming the Bajoran terrorists. Ro went along with it because Cardassians tortured her father to death in front of her, but she knows it's wrong really. She was ashamed of being Bajoran for a long time but the Admiral gave her a chance to fight back against the Cardies. The Cardassians finally show up as the Enterprise escorts the Bajoran terrorists/settlers. There's a tense standoff between Picard and the Cardassian Gul. Picard is just playing the Admiral, who is actually help the Cardassians kill the Bajoran terrorists, rather than helping the Bajorans like he told Ro. The Bajoran ship is destroyed and Picard doesn't seem too bothered. Picard tells the Admiral there was no one on the ship and it was Ro's idea. The Admiral will face justice. Picard wants Ensign Ro to stay in Starfleet and serve on the Enterprise. She says only if she can wear her earring!

It's hard to imagine now but this episode was considered controversial for going against "Gene's vison" and introducing personal clashes between Starfleet officers. Ensign Ro doesn't get on with anyone, won't explain herself (we never really find out why she was in prison) and she's pretty great! The part where she tells Troi and Crusher to fuck off pretty much instantly makes her a more interesting character than either of them. Michelle Forbes should have been a regular cast member (and would have been on DS9 if she hadn't turned it down.) So her character is a success. The background for the Bajorans and their history with the Cardassians is good, they certainly seem to have potential to be more than one off aliens of the week. What isn't as good though is yet another evil, cartoonish Admiral and his confusing motives. At first we think he's help the Bajorans fight the Cardassians but it turns out to be the other way around...and it's pretty meh. The whole thing about the Federation colony being attack isn't really resolved (Picard just kind of assumes the Cardassians did it to set up the Bajorans.) But yeah, Ro herself is great and her scenes with Guinan and Picard are good stuff.

SCORE: 8.5/10
 
CaptainWacky said:
Picard wrongly calls her Ensign Laren when the family name actually comes first. You'd think Picard would know that, to be honest.
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I don't know in this case -- the way DS9 told it (but didn't back up in flashback scenes), over the course of the occupation, the Kai-deprived Bajorans let the name thing go, probably because the Cardassians never honored it and eventually wore them down. Picard's Enterprise mostly explored other parts of the galaxy up to this point -- in the DS9 pilot, he tells Sisko that he's come to know the Bajoran people, but I think that started because he met Ro. (The pilot takes place over a year after this episode, according to geek fan Trek chronologists)

I do like that in general, Trek (quite unintentionally) shows the flaws in having such a huge Starfleet to sustain. There are only so many ships and command posts, and a lot of officers moving up the ranks, so probably a lot of subpar Captains get promoted to Admiral and stuck behind a desk with a very specific specialty to administrate. Hence all the bored Admirals who end up abusing their position either for profit, or to bend to their weakened and corrupted outlooks, like humans inevitably do when given power, no matter what the century.
 
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Why lol about the season five intro? Is this when they start using those blue speed lines around the text?

Nice catch about Guinan doing Troi’s job better than Troi. It’s a shame they only started to address how useless Troi was really late on when she took that exam or whatever to wear a proper uniform.
 
Eggs Mayonnaise said:
I do like that in general, Trek (quite unintentionally) shows the flaws in having such a huge Starfleet to sustain. There are only so many ships and command posts, and a lot of officers moving up the ranks, so probably a lot of subpar Captains get promoted to Admiral and stuck behind a desk with a very specific specialty to administrate. Hence all the bored Admirals who end up abusing their position either for profit, or to bend to their weakened and corrupted outlooks, like humans inevitably do when given power, no matter what the century.
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Sooner or later it’s going to come out that all those admirals spent the 2360s and 70s sexually abusing their attachés.
 
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I always forget about it so I laugh when I see it again.
 
Silicon Avatar - Riker is flirting with a lady on a planet. He's Riker! The Crystalline Entity from 'Datalore' shows up and starts eating all life on the planet. Riker, Data and the colonists run away but Riker's girlfriend is turned to dust right in front of him when she goes back for someone who fell over. They manage to hide out in a cave with Crusher and after Worf digs them out (with his bare hands) they find the planet completely barren. Dr. Kila Marr comes onboard the Enterprise as she's an expect in the entity. She implies that it spared the group because Data was there. That's right, she's another robot racist! She keeps ignoring Data even after Picard has the work together. She accuses him of working with the entity like Lore did. She finally tells him that her son was killed when the entity attacked Data's home colony, unde the direction of Lore. But Data impresses her by coming up with a way to track the entity and he tells her how he holds the memories of the colonists which Doctor Soong put in his head (seriously Doctor Soong is kind of nuts.)

Picard has Worf come up with a way to kill the entity but says he wants to avoid doing so and Marr is angry. She wants it dead. They have the moral debate of the episode where Marr wants to kill it right away and Picard only wants to do so as a last resort, if they fail to communicate with it. He suggests that it's possible that the entity doesn't know humans are sentient and it's just feeding like a whale. She goes to Data and apologises. She asks if he had any of her son's memories. The entity kills everyone on an alien ship. Marr finds it hard not to think about her son after hearing the alien screams. Riker is still sad over his lady dying and goes to Picard saying maybe they should destroy the entity. Marr has Data speak in her son's voice, reading a journal entry. DATA SAYS "DON'T" IN HER SON'S VOICE, THAT'S A CONTRACTION. The Enterprise finds the entity and Marr says it's beautiful. Data tries to talk to it with pulses and the entity seems to respond. Marr uses a different signal which hurts the entity. Then she kills it. Data escorts her back to her quarters. She's clearly gone a bit mad as she squeezes Data's face, saying she did it for her son. Data says from what he knows of her son he wouldn't be happy that she ruined her career by killing the entity. Data is stone cold!

So yeah, the episode is okay but doesn't quite work for several reasons. Firstly it seems to contradict 'Datalore' where Lore was clearly talkin to the entity and the entity was willingly working with him, knowing that humans were alive and still killing them anyway. Okay, 'Datalore' was a very silly episode so we can ignore that, but I don't think this episodes puts forward a strong enough case for why the entity should live. It kill loads of people! But yeah, I do like the Star Trek thing of trying to communicate with it and find a peaceful solution. The biggest problem is that Marr isn't particularly sympathetic? I didn't really buy her total breakdown at the end either. It's not bad or anything but there's similar episodes that do a far better job.

SCORE: 7/10
 
Disaster - Various crewmembers are in various locations. Picard, for instance, is in a turbolift with some children who won a science fair. Then suddenly there's a DISASTER. The lights flash on and off and the ship shakes! Troi and O'Brien are on the Bridge and a woman is dead. Picard's trapped in the lift with the mewling brats. Ro shows up on the Bridge too and is surprised to find that Troi is in command because she "carries the rank of Lt. Commander." Troi is completely clueless regarding all aspects of command and ship's systems, which begs the question of how she achieved the rank of Lt. Commander. I mean why would you keep promoting a counsellor so that she outranks the people who can actually run the ship? It doesn't make much sense. Worf and Keiko are stuck in Ten Forward and Riker and Data leave them there to try to find a way out. Crusher and Geordi are stuck in the cargo bay and there's a plasma fire! So we have five subplots. That's probably too many. Picard makes the children into pretend officers to make them feel better. He makes on the Exeuctive Officer in Charge of Raddishes. It's cute. Troi tries to look intelligent by comparing a quantum filament to a cosmic string, but O'Brien tells her no, that's wrong. But he isn't a dick about it. Ro is much less respectful of Troi and just does whatever she likes without asking first. Data uses his body to stop a thing (I can't spell technobabble words) and has Riker take his head off since his body is now useless. Picard and the kids try to break out of the turbolift.

Kieko starts to have contractions. Worf tells her not to go into labour. Ro wants to seperate the saucer since there's no evidence anyone is alive in the drive section. O'Brien says that's cold blooded. Troi decides to divert energy to Engineering to give the people there a chance to survive. Picard has to comfort a crying child by singing a climbing song. He doesn't know 'The Laughing Vulcan and His Dog' so sings 'Frere Jacques'. Worf has to deliver the baby but it hasn't turned yet. Geordi and Crusher have to let all the air out of the shuttle bay to put the fire out. They both pass out but Crusher hits the control panel just in time to shut the doors. Troi stands up to Ro and Riker talks to Data's disembodied head. He gets to Engineering and finds the monitors on (thanks to Troi.) I guess everyone else is Engineering died and we just don't get to see their bodies? Riker saves the day. Picard gets the damn kids out of the turbolift. Worf gives Keiko permission to give birth. Worf delivers the baby and says she looks like O'Brien. He sound surprised, so maybe he thought Keiko was cheating. The kids give Picard a plaque.

It's a pretty silly episode, basically doing a silly disaster movie in space. It works because it doesn't take itself too seriously: there's plenty of comedy from Worf and Data's head, Picard with the kids works as a cute subplot because Patrick Stewart can make anything work. There's two problems. First, five subplots is a bit too many. I mean the Crusher/Geordi part ony takes up about three minutes and the episode wouldn't have been any better or worse without it. The biggest problem is that Troi being put in command seems to make no sense. How does Starfleet work, exactly? How can someone rise to the rank of Lt. Commander but not know basic things about the ship and have absolutely no command skill (until she does because it's the second part of the episode and it's time for her to take command)? I do like the use of O'Brien as the experienced and sensible officer and Ro as the abrasive foil for Troi. Anyway, it's an entertaining episode.

SCORE: 7.5/10
 
Yeah she’s very much the leader sue to a technicality rather than experience. I wonder how this works in real world militaries? Presumably doctors can get to a reasonable rank, but if they were on the bridge/cic during a disaster that incapacitated everyone of a higher rank would they be expected to take charge of junior but more experienced officers? Who was it recently that complained extensively about Discovery’s use of the word “mutiny”?
 
I think McCoy was higher in rank than Sulu, but he wasn't a line officer. Scotty said that to him in an episode when Scotty was in charge and he disagreed with his choices.
 
The Game - Riker is having sexy time with some alien girl on Risa. She throws his communicator out the window and introduces him to a kind of VR game. Riker returns to the ship and Picard says he has good news: Wesley Crusher's coming to visit. Okay, but what's the good news? Geordi introduces Riker to Ensign Robin Lefler (Ashley Judd.) Riker goes to talk to Crusher who's eating chocolate. She talks about "spooning fudge around the rim" and I'm not sure what's happening here. Wesley is beamed up and congratulates O'Brien on "little Molly." No one seems happy to see him, but really they're throwing a surprise party for him! Aww! How sickening. Data doing a fake laugh at one of Wesley's lame jokes is good though. This episode has a lot of padding as Wesley and Data talk about dancing next. Wesley meets Robin Lefler and shakes her hand for too long. The action finally gets going as Crusher switches off Data, working with Riker and Troi. They're all evil now! Picard asks Wesley if Boothby's told a lot of stories about him, and Wesley CRUELLY says that Boothby didn't remember him...at first. Seriously, it's a dick move. Riker and Geordi investigate why Data has fallen asleep, but Riker's just using at as an excuse to get Geordi hooked on his game. Lefler explains to Wesley that she lives her life by a series of laws she's created for herself. We see Crusher playing the game, looking like a drug user getting a fix, and trying to push it on Wesley. He's concerned. Why has no one else noticed that the game makes everyone act so weird?

Wesley and Robin go on a date. They've both managed to resist the game. Wesley won't play it until he's taken it apart, because that's just the kind of nerd he is. They find that the game is addictive and works like a drug. Wesley of course knows all about drugs thanks to Tasha Yar! His acting is pretty terrible in this scene, especially as he's sharing it with the far superior Ashley Judd. He goes and tells Picard what he's found, Of course the highly predictable twist is that Picard is hooked on the game too and puts it on as soon as Wesley leaves. In the very next scene literally everyone on the ship (even O'Brien!) is addicted, other than Wesley and Robin. They find that Data was deactivated on purpose. Picard has taken the ship to some secret meeting place. Crusher and Word go to hook Wesley up but find him and Robin already playing the game...but they're just fakes! Wesley outsmarted everyone again! We see that Riker's hook-up is an evil alien overlord type and she orders the Enterprise to spread the game over all of Starfleet. Wesley finds Robin is now hooked for real because we have to have Wesley as the extra special one who resists the longest. He evades capture with his super brain, even improbably escaping Worf in the lamest "crawling through vents" chase scene ever. Eventually they pin him down on a chair and force him to play the game, but he's already reactivated Data who shows up and unbrainwashes everyone by flashing a light on them. Which actually looks kind of cool. Everything's back to normal and Wesley's going back to the Academy (yay!) He kisses Robin and she gives him a list of all her laws to remember her by. I hope they at least together to make up for that terrible gift.

So yeah, the episode is pretty silly. How does EVERYONE on the ship get addicted to the game so fast? Like one minute only a few people are and the next all one thousand crewmembers are playing it with only Wesley and Robin noticing anything's wrong. There's not really much plot here so we get lots of scenes of Wesley talking about his life and while Wil Wheaton has improved a bit from when he was a regular he's still not that good. The redeeming quality of the episode is Ashley Judd as Robin Leflter. She could have been an annoying character with her stupid laws, but Judd is so charming and cute that you end up disappointed that she never came back. Did Harvey Weinstein get her blacklisted from TNG? Anyway, she makes the episode watchable...just about.

SCORE: 6/10
 
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