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Wacky Reviews: Star Trek

Well, since transporters rearrange stuff at the quantum level, it needn't even be organic pink slime.

"Cap'n done got hisself perished again, throw another block of tinfoil on the beamer!"
 
The Quality of Life - Geordi's beard continues to to mentioned as Crusher doesn't like them. The Enterprise is monitoring progress on a new "particle fountain" (it's a mining thing.) The forehead alien lady scientist in charge (Farrallon) wants to show Geordi something she's been working on. There just happens to be an emergency, giving her the perfect opportunity to show him her Exocomps, little robots who save the day. Data is very interested in them. Farrallon explains how they learn to be better tools as they work and have little micro replicators they can use to create whatever they need. The tests go well until one of the Exocomps refuses to carry out the doctor's commands. Shortly after there's an explosion down the conduit the Exocomp was supposed to enter. Farrallon concludes it's just a faulty unit that has to have its memory wiped, but Data suspects the Exocomp was actually trying to save its own life by refusing to enter the conduit. Data goes to Crusher to ask for the definition of life. She basically says the question itself is the meaning of life. Or something.

Data goes to Farrallon and Geordi and tells them to stop using the Excomps because they're alive. Picard has a meeting to discuss it. Farrallon is angry and thinks Data is wrong. Picard wants more testing done and Data says the Exocomps can't be forced to work for them until the tests are done. They run a test to see if another Exocomp will save itself but this time the Excomp just carries out its mission. Data keeps re-running the test and getting the same results, until he realises the Excomp knew it was just a test and that's why it didn't save itself, as it wasn't in any real danger. There's a radiation leak or something on the mining station and Picard and Geordi are trapped there, unable to be beam to safety. The Exocomps can save them (at the cost of their own lives), but Data says that can't be allowed as the Exocomps are alive. Farrallon can shut down the Exocomps' command pathways so that they'll have no choice but to carry out the orders. But Data shuts down the transporter so that they can't be beamed over, even though this could kill Picard and Geordi. Data says he'll sacrifice himself to save them if he has to, but Riker won't allow that. Data explains that's the same thing they're doing to the Exocomps. Riker says they'll reconnect the Excomps' command pathways so that they can be asked if they want to save Picard and Geordi. The Exocomps came up with a better plan. All three beam over and manage to save Picard and Geordi, with on Exocomp sacrificing itself. Data explains to Picard that he had to act for the Exocomps because nobody else would have and Picard understands.

The episode is decent but just a bit dull. I mean I like the idea of it. Data encountering other mechanical lifeforms and fighting for their rights. The episode wisely doesn't make the Exocomps cute or anthropomorphised in any way (they don't look like BB-8.) Alhough for human viewrs that kind of makes it harder to care about them. But you understand why Data does. Doctor Farrallon doesn't really have much depth. It's a good Star Trek story but not told in the most compelling way.

SCORE: 7.5/10
 
Chain of Command: Part 1 - Admiral Nechayev makes her first Trek appearance to tell Picard that he's relieved of command. She suspects that the Cardassians are about to make an incursion into Federation space. Captain Edward Jellico, who has a lot of experience with the Cardies, will command the Enterprise on a mission to meet with the Cardassian representative while Picard, Worf and Crusher are reassigned on some secret mission. Jellico instantly wants to change from a three shit rotation to a four shift rotation and talks really fast, throwing Riker off. Picard formally hands over command in Ten Forward and Riker and Geordi (who's dropped the beard) are already unhappy. Riker hasn't changed the shift location yet because there's been problems but Jellico tells him to "get it done" (his catphrase, contrasting Picard's kinder "make it so!") He even wants the fish out of the Ready Room! He orders Geordi and the Engineering crew to work around the clock to do something and Data backs him up saying it should be possible when Geordi moans. Troi goes to talk to Jellico (who has drawings by his son in the Ready Room to show he's not all bad) about the problems the crew are having with him. Jellico tells Troi to take charge of the morale situation as he's too busy...and also tells her to wear a uniform! Riker goes to Picard to talk about Jelllico but finds PIcard tired from the secret drills he's been doing with Crusher and Worf and leaves him alone instead. Picard does try to talk to Jellico anyway but Jellico says he's got no time to give Riker a chance and he hopes Picard doesn't die on his mission but he probably will.

PIcard can finally tell Worf and Crusher about their misson: the Cardassians are working on a "metagenic" wedding that can kill all life on a planet. The have to infiltrate a secret Cardassian base to find the weapons. Picard is an expert on "theta waves" so that's why he's on the mission (but wouldn't it have been easier to teach a special ops officer about theta waves rather than teaching Picard how to be a special ops officer? And surely they have special ops Doctors they could send instead of Crusher? Worf makes sense at least!) Picard goes to a dodgy Ferengi to get transportation. Originally it was going to be Quark in this scene before someone realised this episode would air before DS9's premiere. Crusher strokes the Ferengi's ears to get him to help. TROI WEARS A UNIFORM NOW. She looks good in it. The Cardassians arrive for the meeting but Jellico makes them wait. Picard, Worf and Crusher make their way through Cardassian caves. Jellico walks out on his meeting with the Cardassian Gul. Riker is impressed that he's so sure of himself but Troi says he isn't. Jellico finally has his meeting with the Cardassians and plays good cop/bad cop with Riker and Troi. Picard and freinds continue make their way through the caves. It's been going on a while. Finally they realise it's an Admiral Ackbar and are attacked by Cardies. Picard is captured but Worf and Crusher get away. Picard meets a Cardassian played by David Warner who says he should be an interesting challenge. The Theta bands were all a ruse to lure Picard.

So there's two plots here and the one on the Enterprise is by far the stronger of the two. Jellico really shakes up the comfy Enterprise crew and he works as a character because, while he's a dick, he's not totally unreasonable. Everything he's doing he feels is justified because they're at risk of war with the Cardassians. I like how he quickly makes Data his point man because Data doesn't have to worry about human things like sleep. And you can see Riker and Geordi's points of view being valid too. It's all very good stuff, some of the best interpersonal drama TNG has had (with Gene being dead they can do that now!) The Picard stuff is less interesting because most of it is just the running about caves and not doing much. The part with the Ferengi is a bit embarrassing, with Crusher basically wanking him off for his help. But it'll all be worth it after part 2!

SCORE: 9/10
 
CaptainWacky said:
The Quality of Life
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Data gets away with an enormous amount of crap throughout the show and movies that would get any other officer court-martialed, drummed out, or even killed.

I'd like to have seen Data appear on a Voyager episode and have Tom Paris trip him in a corridor.
 
CaptainWacky said:
The Survivors - The Enterprise responds to a distress call from a colony and finds all eleven thouands colonists dead...except for two. There's one house left standing amongst all the destruction. Riker leads an away team to the house but is caught in a booby trap by an old man named Kevin (John Anderson) and his wife Rishon (Anne Haney, who I remember appearing in loads of tv shows.) Data starts playing a music box and Troi hears the music in her head. The old people refuse to leave their home. Troi keeps hearing that damn music during a briefing and runs out. You'd think she'd just tell Picard? I mean it's pretty unusual to start hearing music in your head right after finding two old people alive under mysterious circumstances. Picard even goes to see her and she even lies at first before telling him. A mysterious evil spaceship shows up and attacks. The Enterprise easily chases it off. Picard realises something is up and goes down to give the old couple a replicator himself. Troi is going completely insane now. Worf utters the classic line "Good tea. Nice house." Picard tries to find out why Kevin and Rishon were spared by the aliens. Rishon explains that she wanted to fight the aliens but Kevin refused and she stayed with him.

The aliens return and attack with more power this time. The Enterprise has to retreat, but Picard suspects that Kevin and Rishon are in no danger. He and Worf go to the house again and Picard confronts Kevin. He tells him the Enterprise will remain in orbit for as long as they're alive. The aliens show up again but this time Picard just sits back and lets them do what they want. They seem to kill Kevin and Rishon. The Enterprise destroys the aliens with a single torpedo and Picard says they have no reason to remain now. The house shows up again later. Picard beams Kevin and Rishon up because he's had enough of this. Kevin admits that he fucked up Troi's brain. Then the big twist: Rishon isn't real! Kevin fixes Troi's brain and says he did it because she was sensing what he really was. Kevin admits he is an alien named a Dowd and he fell in love with a human woman and lived as a human. He had the power to stop the aliens (the Husnock) but refuses to kill and tried to trick them instead, but they killed everyone else in the colony, including Rishon. He lost it and destroyed the Husnock...all of them. Like Anakin killing all the sand people! It's a powerful scene. Picard says he has no power to judge Kevin and that he should be left alone on the planet with his pain.

TNG season three has arrived! It's a great mystery episode and the great ending scene with Kevin's confession is a worthy payoff. I do have some nitpicks: Kevin could have just made his house invisible in the first place and I don't get why Troi initially denied hearing the music in her head. But still, it's all very good have strong guest performances and a story that holds your interest the whole way. I hope there's more episodes like this!

SCORE: 9/10
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I just watched it and I loved it a whole lot.

Picard going "I don't know whether he should be praised or condemned" about the guy who committed one entire genocide is a bit weird though. I'm pretty sure it's condemned, Jean-Luc.
 
Chain of Command: Part 2 - Picard is drugged and questioned by Gul Macet (David Warner) but doesn't know the information Macet wants. Jellico's negotiations with Gul Lemec aren't going well as Lemec reveals that the Cardassians have captured Captain Picard (Lemec also claims Picard's team killed fifty innocent Cardassians.) Madred acts civil with Picard, discussing archaeology for a while, but when Picard won't tell him what he wants to know he has Picard stripped naked and hung by his wrists. The Enterprise recovers Worf and Crusher. Riker wants to rescue Picard but Jellico tells him there's no hope. Macet asks Picard how many lights he can see. There's four, but Macet wants Picard to say there's five. There's a torture device implanted in Picard which Macet can use to make feel various levels of pain. He isn't asking Picard any questions about Federation strategy any more, just how many lights there are. Jellico can't admit Picard was acting under Starfleet orders as that would be a declaration of war so the Cardassians can continue to treat him as a terrorist and torture him. Riker isn't happy with Jellico and tells him as much, so Jellico relieves him (Data quickly switches to red and becomes first officer.) Macet lets his daughter play with her pet rat in front of the tortured Picard and tells her human parents don't love their children. He's a bit of a bad guy, this Macet. Picard tells him off for his parenting and Macet slaps him. Picard cheekily replies "what lights?" when Macet questions him this time so he gets an extra big pain dose.

The Enterprise heads to the Federation system the Cardies are interested in. Macet tells Picard he's free to go...but it means he'll start questioning Crusher instead (Picard doesn't know she got away.) Picard stays, of course. Jellico believes the Cardassians are hiding a fleet in a nebula and prepaes to lay mines around it. Macet offers Picard an egg. Macet explains he was homeless the first time he ate one of those eggs. It turns out to be a mistake as Picard smartly realises that Macet is repaying the misery he once suffered by torturing him (torture isn't a reliable means of extracting information) and he'll always see Macet as the scared little homeless boy now. Macet makes him feel pain but Picard continues to mock him a a helpless homeless boy, scoring a vicotry on Macet even as he's in agonising pain. It's a brilliant scene. Jellico needs a pilot and wants Geordi, but Geordi tells him Riker is the best pilot on the ship (of course he is, he's Riker!) Jellico goes to Riker to ask him to pilot the shuttle and lay the mines. They drop ranks and Jellico tells Riker what he thinks of him. Riker hits back with his own plain thoughts. It's another strong scene and you can draw a parralel between Jellico's need for control and Macet's. Riker makes a seething Jellico ask him nicely to pilot the shuttle. Jellico's plan works as mines are planted on all Lemec's ships. He demands all the ships leave the nebula and that Picard be released. Macet tells Picard that the Enterprise is burning in space and the invasion has been a success. He says Picard can live a comfortable life on Cardassia...as long as he tells him how many lights he can see. Picard seems to actually be considering it. Lemec arrives in time and is seemingly a bit disgusted by how Macet is continuing to treat Picard. He has Picard released and Picard makes sure to tell Macet there...are...FOUR...LIGHTS first. Jellico hands command back to Picard. Picard admits to Troi that he actually could see five lights in the end.

It's funny how the episodes where Patrick Stewart gets to do some good old fashioned acting are usually the best of TNG. He has a great scene partner here in David Warner. The scene where Picard turns the tables on Macet is a classic and I love how Macet ultimately comes across as a kind of pathetic figure (but still breaks Picard.) The Jellico stuff was the strongest part of part 1 and while that obviously isn't the case here it's still very good here with a great face off between Jellico and Riker. So yeah this is a great episode, a rare case where part 2 is better than part 1 (and part 1 was pretty damn good anyway!)

SCORE 10/10

EDIT: Not sure why I kept caling him "Macet" when it should be "Madred" but I'm not editing it all now.
 
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Troi: Thanks for coming to see me in my office. Is the lighting ok? Lol, jokes. No but really is it too harsh? Sometimes I think it’s a little harsh.

Picard: I’ll be on the bridge...
 
Ship in a Bottle - Data and Geordi are playing at Sherlock Holmes again for the first time in years, but something is wrong with the Holodeck. Reg Barclay investigates and encounters Professor Moriarty. He's been stored in memory for four years since he became self aware and still wants out of the Holodeck. He claims to have been conscious for the four years too, which is disturbing. Picard, Data and Barclay meet with him on the Holodeck. Picard tells him there's still no way for him to leave the Holodeck (Picard throws a book out of the Holdeck and it disappears, which constradicts the previous Moriarty episode where his map of the Enterprise continued to exist outside the Holodeck) but Moriarty doesn't believe him and walks out of the Holodeck. "I think therefore I am" he says and he doesn't disappear. Picard is confused but Moriarty just wants to get on with his new life. He claims not to be a criminal aymore (he was just written that way) and he wants a companion brought off the Holodeck, a countess. He and Picard debate the ethics of trying to bring her out the Holodeck. Picard refuses for now because they don't really know what's going on with Moriarty. Moriarty says he'd love the countess even if he wasn't programmed to. Meanwhile the Enterprise is watching two planets crash together (or something) but suddenly command functions go offline. Moriarty has taken over the ship. The Enterprise will be destroyed in five hours and Moriarty won't give control back until Picard gets his girlfriend out of the Holodeck.

Barclay meets the countess (played by future Celebrity Big Brother housemate Stephanie Beacham) when he sets up pattern enhancers in an attempt to beam her off the Holodeck. Moriarty makes out with her in front of Barclay and reveals that he gave her consciousness too. Data fails to beam a chair off the Holodeck then finds the transporter log won't show. Data reveals the shocking truth to Picard: they're still on the Holodeck. Moriarty didn't really leave. There's a great bit whee the holographic Geordi realises that he isn't real. They still can't get off the Holodeck and won't be able to until they give Moriarty what he wants. We see the Riker in the real world trying to negoitiate with Moriarty. Picard meets with Stephanie Beacham and tells her he's found a way to beam people off the Holodeck, but she must make sure Moriarty gives control of the ship back. She's a reasonable person so she agrees. Moriarty tells the real Riker how to beam them off (Picard "let it slip" to the countess) and Moriarty and the countess both apparently leave the Holodeck for real. Riker gives them a shuttle to leave the ship and Moriarty finally gives up control, thinking that he's won. But it was all a trick! Picard, Barclay and Data used the Holodeck on the fake Enterprise to create a fake Enterprise inside the fake Enterprise to fool Moriarty. He's really trapped in a cube with the countess, believing themselves to be travelling the galaxy. Barclay says "computer end programme" out loud just to make sure he's not stuck in another Holodeck, a pretty perfect ending.

It's technically another holodeck malfunction episode, and so soon after 'A Fistful of Datas'. Fortunately, this one is great! Moriarty was a strong villain back in season two and he's even better here. I like how he isn't evil or anything, he just uses his intelligence to find a way to get himself and his lover off the Holodeck and then gives back control of the ship. The way the Holodeck is use here, with a fake Holodeck inside a fake Holodeck, is very clever and not something we've seen before. I mean I guess 'Future Imperfect' did the "they're still inside the Holodeck!" ending before this but it's different enough here that I don't mind. Of course Voyager will do it another eighty times but I don't have to worry about that yet. This is a great, twisty, fun, intelligent episode!

SCORE: 9/10
 
Aquiel - The Enterprise finds that two officers on a subspace relay are missing. There is a dog there though. That will be important later. Crusher believes that an officer named Aquiel is dead based on cellular residue they find. Geordi watches her recorded communcations and, as she's a cute dead girl, he instantly gets the hots for her. He doesn't seem to care that her acting is really bad. She mentions an aggressive Klingon. Picard suspects the Klingon was interested in encrypted messages the relay held. A Klingon governor tells Picard to fuck off until Picard plays the "Arbiter of Succession" card (this is so far the only vaguely entertaining thing to happen in the episode.) Geordi keeps watching her terrible logs, where she complains about her co worker Rocha. Big twist, the Klingon governor arrives with Aquiel, who is still alive. She says she doesn't have many memories of what happened, so she isn't very helpful. Georid reintroduces her to her dog and takes her to Ten Forward. Geordi talks about how "complicated" she was on her logs (she isn't happy he watched them, but at least he didn't shag a hologram of her) but I think he meant to say "boring as fuck."

Aquiel is still being investigated for murder and things don't look good when Worf finds a phaser set to kill on her shuttle. Geordi defends her and Riker warns him that he's letting his feelings guide his judgement. They talk to the aggressive Klingon (remember him) and he admits he stole the encrypted messages but denies killing anyone. Aquiel admits doing something (I'm drifting off) and tries to run away but Geordi stops her. She says "I'm SCARED, Geordi!" and it's one of the worst line deliveries I remember in Star Trek. The cells Crusher is investigating form into a human hand. It's the second vaguely good thing to happen in the epiosde. Geordi and Aquiel hug a lot. Her people are part telepathic and she has a magic crystal thing that can link their minds and enhance their love making. Crusher gives the explanation that a shapeshifting alien must have absorbed Rocha's body before he came to the relay and he actually attacked Aquiel to get a new body. Or maybe it was the Klingon he attacked. Riker walks in on Geordi and Aquiel's weird sex thing. We're supposed to think she was about to swap bodies with him. BIGGEST TWIST, the dog (remember the dog) was actually the evil shapeshifter. It turns into a bad looking CGI blob thing but Geordi easily kills it with his phaser. We went through ALL THAT for "it was the dog!" Geordi explains her memory loss by "the coalesence hadn't taken hold!"

THIS WAS SO SHIT. The actual story was really weak with the "coalescent alien" not being mentioned until the last ten minutes of the episode. What was the point of all that stuff with the Klingons? I don't know! But a shit story can at least be saved by a good guest star, right? A believable relationship between her and Geordi? NAH, that was even worse! They had no chemistry and her acting was shit. Fuck this episode.

SCORE: 1.5/10
 
Face of the Enemy - Troi wakes up with a headache and finds that she's a Romulan now. She must have gotten really druink the night before! A Romulan named N'vek tells her that she must pose as a Tal Shiar officer and tell the Warbird's commander Toreth (Carolyn Seymour, who previously played a different Romulan in the Iconian gateway episode) to go to a certain place. Toreth does not seem to like the Tal Shiar much and Troi struggles at first to come across as a Romulan intelligence officer, as you might expect. But she gets better at it pretty quickly. A Starfleet Ensign who defected to the Romulans twenty years ago comes aboard the Enterprise. He's switched back to the Federation's side. He has a message for Picard from Spock to meet with a ship and take its cargo onboard. The cargo is currently on the Romulan ship with Troi: a high ranking Romulan official who is defecting to the Federation (N'vek is part of Spock's underground.) Troi has to keep acting like a hardass Tal Shiar officer at dinner with Toreth, who enjoys trying to make her feel uncomfortable. Toreth tells her how her father was executed by the Tal Shiar and Troi says her father was obviously a traitor. They meet with a cargo vessel and Troi tells N'Vek that the vessel's Captain is lying. So he blows it up and blames Troi. Toreth is not happy. Troi has to to act tough again.

The Enterprise goes to meet with the cargo vessel but of course it isn't there because it got blown up. The defector admits he didn't tell them everything because that's how it's done on Romulas. Troi isn't happy with N'Vek killing eighteen people but he says it was necessary. The new plan is for them to go to a Starfleet outpost, which means heading into Federation space using Troi's access codes (that's why they needed her.) Toreth is angry about this as she knows the Federation isn't stupid (contary to Romulan propaganda) but Troi insists. Then the Enterprise shows up. Troi comes up with a plan to have the Enterprise track them so they can get the defectors to the Federation. She's had it with N'Vek telling her what to do and threatens to report him to Toreth. She's been playing a Romulan for as long that she's starting to act like one! The Enterprise detects the cloaked ship (the Engineer was on N'Vek's side.) Toreth notices the Enterprise is tracking them when cloaked and prepares to attack them. But Troi orders her to stand down and takes control of the ship, threatening the crews' families. Everyone on the Enterprise is surprised when Troi appears on their viewscreen, pretending to be a Romulan. The Romulan defectors are beamed over to the Enterprise in a distruptor beam. Toreth figures out what N'Vek did and that Troi was part of it. N'Vek is killed. Troi is rescued when the Warbird drops its shields to go to warp. The episode ends pretty quickly.

It happened! It took six seasons but we finally got a good Troi episode! And, to her credit, Marina's acting has improved a lot and she gives a strong performance here. Yes she isn't completely convincing as a Tal Shiar agent, but that's because Troi herself isn't a Tal Shiar agent and wouldn't be entirely convincing as one! It's also a good episode for the Romulans as they got very cartoony in recent seasons thanks to Sela. Torther is a welcome change from that, she's like the type of Romulan we'd have seen in season 3. She's even quite sympathetic at times with her justified dislike of the Tal Shair and being angry at the deaths of the eighteen people on the cargo ship. She also shows the Federation respect like the Romulan Commander back in 'Balance of Terror'. So this is all good stuff, my only real complaint is how rushed the ending is. Troi gets back to the Enterprise and...that's it. She doesn't reflect on the experience at all. They should have given her a couple of minutes talking to Picard at least. Still this is good stuff.

SCORE: 8.5/10
 
Tapestry - Picard is brought into Sickbay after being shot. His artificial heart is failing and Crusher is having difficulty reviving him. He finds himself walking into a white light...and sees Q. "Welcome to the afterlife, Jean Luc. YOU'RE DEAD." That's a great teaser! Picard refuses to believe that Q is God. Q shows his father and lets Picard hear the voices of everyone who died under his command. He wants Picard to aplogise to them, but Picard is defiant. He keeps pushing Picard to express some regret for how he lived and shows him his artificial heart. Picard admits that he does regret things from the days when he lost his real heart. Q gets Picard to admit that if he could live his life all over again, he wouldn't be so arrogant and cocky and get stabbed by a Nausicaan. So Q sends him back into his own young body (but we see him as Patrick Stewart) where he meets his friends Corey and Marta. All wearing TOS movie unifroms! Q gives him an apportunity to live his life differently but Picard refuses to do it because it would change history. Q guarantess him that nothing he does will alter the future, just Picard's own life. Young Picard was a womaniser who'd been on a date with two women at the same time. Q is impressed. Older Picard struggles with the ladies and keeps getting slapped or drinks thrown on him. A surly Nausicaan wants to PLAY DOM-JOT with Picard's friend. The more responsible Picard tries to talk him out of it. Picard tells Q that the Nausicaan cheats to win and Corey will later try to get revenge with Picard's help and that will lead to the stabbing. Marta kind of likes the new Picard and they have a moment, but Q comes in to deliver flowers from another girl to "John Luck Pickerd." Whcih is brilliant.

Corey tries to cheat anyway but Picard stops him. Marta continues to be impessed and admits her feelings to Picard. They kiss and have sex (off camera) but Picard wakes up with Q in his bed. Picard says he doesn't regret it, but things are different between him and Marta now. Q mocks Picard for alienating his two best friends. The Nausicaans come in looking for a fight. They insult Marta but Picard pushes Corey over a table to stop him from punching a Nausicaan. He tries to explain that the Nausicaan had a weapon but Corey and Marta walk out on him. Picard then finds himself back on the Enterprise, wearing blue, and as a Lieutenant Junior Grade. Thomas Halloway is Captain of the ship (and I guess he stopped the Borg!) Q tells Picard he gave him what he wanted, a life where he wasn't stabbed in the heart. Picard goes to Riker and Troi to ask about his future on the Enterprise. They can't really think of much to say (Riker throws "punctual" in there.) Picard asks about his prospects for command but Troi tells him he's never been willing to do what's necessary to live up to his goals. Picard tells Q he's made his point and he can't live the life of a boring Picard who takes no chances. Q really drives home the point that being stabbed in the heart is what made Picard such a great man. Picard says he'd rather die in Sickbay than live the other life so Q returns him to the Nausicaan fight. Picard is stabbed through the heart again and laughs (just like he told Wesley back in season two!) He wakes up in Sickbay still laughing. He talks to Riker about the whole thing after. He admits to Riker that he owes Q a debt of gratitude.

It's definitely a great episode. Pretty much any Picard centric episode is always great, certainly by this point. It's the best Q episode since season 3 and the Stewart/de Lancie chemistry is sparkling as always. I don't think it's a perfect, 10/10 episode though, mainly because the way it comes about is a bit forced. If the story started with Picard regretting the way he lived his life and Q came along to show him he's wrong that would be fine. But Picard literally dies (or so we think) because of his artificial heart. Of course he's going to regret having it! It killed him! And even though Q has to really push him into revealing his regrets. So it feels like maybe it's a lesson Picard didn't have to learn? It's kind of an obvious lesson, really, I'm sure Picard would know that the events of your life, even those you regret, are what make you the person you are. Also Picard sleeping with a girl he knew forty years ago (who's the age she was forty years ago) is even so slightly creepy. Don't get me wrong, it is a great episode, I'm just explaining why I don't think it's one of the absolute top level episodes, OKAY.

SCORE: 9/10
 
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this is just season 1 episode 5 of DS9 "Babel"
 
Birthright: Part 1 - The Enterprise is at station DS9. This is the first time I've seen that place! The crew are impressed by the holosuites and replimats on DS9. I mean, they have Holodecks and replicators on the Enterprise, so that's making DS9 seems kind of boring. Doctor Bashir is doing some experiment on the Enterprise without permission. This is back when Alexander Siddig couldn't act and wasn't named Alexander Siddig. An alien (played by James Cromwell) tells Worf that he has information on Worf's father Mogh, who he claims is still alive on a prison planet run by the Romulans. Worf doesn't believe him (a Klingon would rather die than be taken prisoner) and yells at Riker and smashes things. Troi comes to counsel him. Bashir asks Data questions about his hair and breathing and pulse. Data is blasted by the device Bashir is experimenting on and has a memory where he's walking around the Enterprise and sees his father. He doesn't understand what happend but Bashir suspects he had a dream. The two storylines crossover as Data and Worf talk about visions. Since Data's dream had his father in it, Worf goes on a monologue about the importance of finding your father. It's a bit contrived. Worf threatens to throw James Cromwell off the promenade if he won't taken him to the prison camp. They go off together in Cromwell's ship. He hints that he has reasons for not telling anyone about the camp.

Data goes to talk to Picard about his dream now. He's trying to figure out what it meant by researching cultural beliefs about dreams. Picard says Data is a culture of one (WHAT ABOUT LORE) and he should find out what the dream meant to him. Worf arrives at the prison planet and walks through the jungle. He sees a Kllingon girl bathing and she thinks he's a local pervert. Data does loads of paintings which he shows Geordi and reminds me of one of those TNG Edits on youtube. Geordi and Bashir help Data have another dream. This time his father explains how dreams work to him. Spot's in the Captain's chair! His father says "Data, you are the bird!" and Data has a dream where he's a bird flying around the Enterprise and space. Data concludes that the dream programme was in him all along but Bashir accidentally activated it early. He intends to go on dreaming. Oh yeah, Worf's still sneaking around. He grabs an old Klingon and asks about his father, but finds that he's still dead. Worf tells the Klingons he's here to rescue them but they grab him and say they're not leaving and neither is he.

It's the first part of a two parter, but weirdly it tells one self contained story while telling a second story that's just set up for part two. The Worf stuff feels dragged out, like they just wanted the episode to end on the "we're not leaving!" cliffhanger. The Data story is pretty good, but there's not much to it. He has a dream. He tries to figure out what it means. He has another dream. That's about it! Data can dream now. It's fine, though the dream imagery is not very imaginative (then again maybe an android's first dream wouldn't be.) Data investgating things is always fun. It's certainly more entertaining than the Worf stuff. The cliffhanger isn't all that strong so this isn't the best part one, though again the Data story is a perfectly good TNG subplot.

SCORE: 7/10
 
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