What's the best crime you got away with?

Kennyquator

Skin is my daddy
i like to pee in the bushes in the park when it's dark
 

A_Real_Prick666

New Member
A True Crime Story (Really):

When I was but a young curmudgeon growing up on the shores of Lake Ontario, we had plenty of creative crime. I was walking down the street one afternoon when a VW Beetle came flying past, then a cop car speeding about 2 minutes behind it. This was common.

I walked along for about 10 minutes until the Beetle pulled up beside me. The door flew open and one of our local hoods, Johnny Cahill, told me to get in. What the hell. A free ride. Cahill was a bit desparate and wanted desparately to ditch this car because the cops were much faster than a Beetle. I suggested we ride the railroad tracks down to the canal to the lift bridge. Good idea. Offroading.

We made it down to the lift bridge and Cahill drove the Bug up onto the pier. We drove all the way along down the pier to the bay side, opposite the lake side. Finally Cahill let me know the car was stolen & if he got caught again, he wa in major shit. I kinda half joked that he should drive the Beetle off the pier to get rid of the evidence. Great idea apparently. We get out, he finds a big rock and puts it on the gas pedal, then drops it into drive & slams the door. Vrrrrroooooom, away the fucker goes, right off the end of the pier and into the water. Beauty.

We found out then and there that it was no myth that VW Beetles float. From the pier the Bug steered itself right into the shipping channel of the canal. A very busy canal with big lake freighters coming through about every 15 minutes. Lucky the guys running the lift bridge spotted the Bug and stopped 2 freighters dead in the water before they came into the canal channel. I found out later that disrupting marine traffic in THAT canal was a federal crime.

We walked back up the pier a ways but I couldn't stop pissing myself laughing. Eventually the local marine rescue unit had to be called to chase down the revving & roving floating Beetle and tow it away to open up the lane for shipping traffic. A crowd gathered to watch and laugh and the cops eventually showed up. We weren't caught, but a picture of the rescue unit chasing the VW Beetle did make it into the newspaper the next day. This was kind of funny because I delivered the paper to the lift bridge guys - who told me all about the incident the next day.

True story. The end.
 

Fagh

TK addict
^I can't top that one. I feel the most I've gotten away with is trespassing, everything else was justified, and others I was caught for.
 

Kennyquator

Skin is my daddy
A_Real_Prick666 said:
A True Crime Story (Really):

When I was but a young curmudgeon growing up on the shores of Lake Ontario, we had plenty of creative crime. I was walking down the street one afternoon when a VW Beetle came flying past, then a cop car speeding about 2 minutes behind it. This was common.

I walked along for about 10 minutes until the Beetle pulled up beside me. The door flew open and one of our local hoods, Johnny Cahill, told me to get in. What the hell. A free ride. Cahill was a bit desparate and wanted desparately to ditch this car because the cops were much faster than a Beetle. I suggested we ride the railroad tracks down to the canal to the lift bridge. Good idea. Offroading.

We made it down to the lift bridge and Cahill drove the Bug up onto the pier. We drove all the way along down the pier to the bay side, opposite the lake side. Finally Cahill let me know the car was stolen & if he got caught again, he wa in major shit. I kinda half joked that he should drive the Beetle off the pier to get rid of the evidence. Great idea apparently. We get out, he finds a big rock and puts it on the gas pedal, then drops it into drive & slams the door. Vrrrrroooooom, away the fucker goes, right off the end of the pier and into the water. Beauty.

We found out then and there that it was no myth that VW Beetles float. From the pier the Bug steered itself right into the shipping channel of the canal. A very busy canal with big lake freighters coming through about every 15 minutes. Lucky the guys running the lift bridge spotted the Bug and stopped 2 freighters dead in the water before they came into the canal channel. I found out later that disrupting marine traffic in THAT canal was a federal crime.

We walked back up the pier a ways but I couldn't stop pissing myself laughing. Eventually the local marine rescue unit had to be called to chase down the revving & roving floating Beetle and tow it away to open up the lane for shipping traffic. A crowd gathered to watch and laugh and the cops eventually showed up. We weren't caught, but a picture of the rescue unit chasing the VW Beetle did make it into the newspaper the next day. This was kind of funny because I delivered the paper to the lift bridge guys - who told me all about the incident the next day.

True story. The end.
that is so cool.
 
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