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Where is the Random Thread of Randomness stuff that doesn't belong in other threads thread?

I know we try not to get political here but Story TV is doing President shit for the ramp up to Election Day and more than one show I watched tonight had clips of Dan Rather and I'm bewildered by why the caption lists him as "Journalist" instead of "Discredited shady piece of shit who tried to throw an election." Or why anyone would bother to interview Dan Rather like he had anything useful to say after 2004.
 
There is a thing in the town where I grew up, where they make ravioli with cheese and raisins as the filling. You cannot wrap your brain around it unless you've tried it, and then you go "duh, of course." But as far as I know, 1 place on the planet currently makes it. And I don't choose to live in Bumfuck, WI, so I don't have it. But somehow I once met a girl who likes to cook and wanted to have sex with me and offered to make me cheese & raisin ravioli if I'd fuck her (I know, right? I don't even believe any of this as I type it, yet I swear it happened). It was awesome. And so was the sex.*

*Yet somehow, even though I knew sex was virtually a sure thing on this date, I almost managed to not get any. I really wish I'd had a mentor as a teen. Or a Dad who actually understood sex.**

**My Dad married very late. And when I asked my Mom how they met she said "[X]*** was the town with the most eligible bachelors, so I went there and went to the bars." (or words to that effect.

***I came from a place where a little under 2,000 people was a huge and booming size for a town and the next town over was 10 miles away.
 
OH! One that popped into my head a few days back that I keep forgetting to post: When Natural Selection Fucks Up.

Channel surfing for something to watch during dinner the other day and settled on "Nature" on PBS. They were doing a bit on the Stag Beetle. Male stag beetles battle each other for mates so it is to their advantage to have giant mandibles if they want to reproduce. But their mandibles have evolved to be so large that they can't eat so once they're sexually mature the males can no longer eat and have to reproduce before they starve to death. That said, the ones that pass on their genes are the ones with the biggest mandibles. How fucked up is that?
 
Two bits of fiction that sum up my feelings every Election Day are the "South Park" where they get to choose between "Giant Douche" and "Turd Sandwich" and the bit from Douglas Adams' "So Long and Thanks For All the Fish":
"...the people are people. The leaders are lizards. The people hate the lizards and the lizards rule the people.” “Odd,” said Arthur, “I thought you said it was a democracy.” “I did,” said Ford. “It is.” “So,” said Arthur, hoping he wasn’t sounding ridiculously obtuse, “why don’t the people get rid of the lizards?” “It honestly doesn’t occur to them,” said Ford. “They’ve all got the vote, so they all pretty much assume that the government they’ve voted in more or less approximates to the government they want.” “You mean they actually vote for the lizards?” “Oh yes,” said Ford with a shrug, “of course.” “But,” said Arthur, going for the big one again, “why?” “Because if they didn’t vote for a lizard,” said Ford, “the wrong lizard might get in. ..."
Click to expand...
One of the things I liked about Oregon was that they'd mail you a candidate guide before the election. It had all the candidates (who submitted information) and their positions so it was easy to read up on the candidates and do further research if necessary. I'm still trying to sort out voting effectively in Kentucky. I come in, thinking I know who I want to vote for, but either I'm in the wrong district for the candidates I WANT to vote for or there's all these offices like "Family Court Judge" or "Dogcatcher" that I didn't even know were on the ballot, so I don't know the candidates. Well this year I vowed to change that. I remembered that the County Clerk's Website will generate a sample ballot for you, based on your address, so I did that. Earlier someone had posted a list of candidates that support an issue I agree with, so I'd jotted those names down. Then I look at the sample ballot and none of those candidates represent my district. Most of the races are unopposed--and the candidate is for the party I don't agree with. When I looked up the 3-4 candidates for school board--the only contested race on my ballot--I disagree with the position all of them take. So yeah, elections are like waiting for Santa to come, only to run down, tear open the presents and find socks and underwear.
 
Remember, back in the '80s, when Billie Dee Williams was the spokesman for Colt 45? I demand that Jaleel White become the spokesman for Pilsner Urquell.
 
What if I've just been in a coma this whole time?
And the life I think I have is just whatever life I've dreamt up. And when people call me on the phone (I had 3 phone calls yesterday) are just visits in the hospital room. I can hear them, but I can't see their faces.
That would explain so many things.
This isn't my life.
There is no way this can all be true. The good parts and the bad parts.
 
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