CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
#29.5 - Tim returns to the sewers and says he needs a dental assistant. It can't be Susan because she still looks like a zombie even though her brain is nearly fully healed. "BRAINS!?"! says Susan, her zombie nature returning for a moment. Tim says Elaine has to be his dental assistant as they build an army of mind-controlled dental patients to go after Kramer. Elaine says sure, anything to get out of the sewers. George says hold on a fucking minute, he isn't letting his wife go anywhere with a man who has a button that can give her instant orgasms. Elaine says he isn't the boss of her and starts to leave. George grabs her arm and she slaps him. He starts crying. Zombie Susan and Newman's head are watching and Newman says "awk-ward!" in a camp voice. Tim says he'll give the orgasm button for safe keeping but he can't press it because it'll distract Elaine and it doesn't work from a distance of over a mile anyway. "That's okay, he never could give me an orgasm," says Elaine. Tim and Elaine leave and Jerry walks in completely naked. "You okay, Jerry?" asks Susan. Jerry appears to be in a trance. The camera zooms right in on his face and suddenly he's standing in Central Park storking his trusty murder knife with Uncle Leo beside him. "You must kill a Kramer supporter to show you are a man," says Leo. Jerry nods. He stalks a burly male Kramer supporter who is wearing a "KRAMERICA" baseball cap. He turns round at the last second but it is too late, as Jerry is one him thrusting the knife into him again and again. "AH HA HA...AAAAAAAAAAH HA HA HA HAAAAAA!" laughs Jerry as he is showered in blood. "I'm proud of you, my boy!" says Leo. "But now you must kill a woman Kramer supporter. A YOUNG woman Kramer supporter!" Jerry smiles. He sees a teenage Kramer supporter jogging through the park. He looks at his knife, still stained in blood. "I'm having unnatural thoughts about her," he admits to Leo. "To defeat Kramer, you must visit places in your mind that even Kramer would fear to," says Leo, nodding. Jerry starts to approach the girl with his knife...then flashes to another time and place. He is on some kind of starship wearing a Captain's uniform. The Bridge of the ship has a glass floor. Kramer is incased below the glass, alive but in agony. The Kramer Device is welded to his crotch, extending up through the glass and forming a huge joystick which Jerry is using to steer the ship with a crazed look on his face. "KILL THEM," he says. "KILL THE CATDOGS!" We see Elaine, George and Newman (who somehow has a new body) in gun pods on the side of the ship, firing out at fighters which are piloted by the Catdog aliens, blowing them out of the stars. "More!" says Jerry. "KILL MORE!" Kramer moans in pain as every time Jerry touches his joystick it sends a shock down the Kramer device and into Kramer's crotch. Jerry flashes back into the sewers. "None of that was real!" he says. "Leo, what was that? Why did I see...that path? Wait, I understand now. I was thinking of murdering Kramer supporters in Central Park. But I must resist that evil. We cannot defeat Kramer by becoming worse than him. We must do better." "Jerry, what the fuck are you even talking about?" asked George. "Leo's dead!" Jerry smiles. He sees Leo giving him a thumbs up. "Leo is teaching me from beyond the grave," says Jerry. "We must choose a path of kindess and empathy." "What about Tim creating an army of mind-controlled slaves to send to their deaths against Kramer?" asks Susan. "Oh yeah, that's pretty bad!" admits Jerry. Suddenly he has another prescient vision. He is floating in space, somehow. The planet Earth itself is approaching him, propelled by some ungodly power. But as it drawns closer Space Jerry gasps when he sees that the Earth is now shaped like Kramer's head. The entire planet has been transformed, all landmasses hideously deformed to render Kramer's insane visage. And, through some kind of space sense, Jerry knows that inside the core of the Earth itself are imprisoned millions of people. They are all that remains of humanity and Kramer is using their suffering to power the Earth...which is now a battle station. The Kramer mouth of Earth opens and it fires from it s a massive death lazer which destroys a whole planet: and Jerry knows it is the home planet of the Catdogs. He shives in fear as the death beam changes direction to vapourise him...and then he is back in the sewers. "I've seen what Kramer plans," he tells the others. "And it is worse than we could have possibly imagined!" In his Dark Tower, Kramer watches television with the Newman Gollem. They are watching a news report which states that the rest of the world has declared a state of emergency. Kramerica, now spanning all of North and South America, is considered a threat to all remaining nations. "Are you going to kill them all?" asks Newman. "I...I don't want to," says Kramer. "I really want no more death. I grow so weary, Newman, yet I cannot sleep anymore. I fear what I am becoming." "But you wanted this!" snaps Newman. "You used the Kramer Device to enslave so many...and I know what you have planned for the Catdgos. Remember, I have access to all the memories of future Newman's simulations!" "It is true," says Kramer. "Yet I wished all along there was a better way. I was hoping the devotion of the masses would be enough, but too many still oppose my message of love. I may have to kill them. I MAY HAVE TO KILL THEM ALL!" He starts crying. Gollem Newman sighs and presents him with a Jerry hole to relieve his suffering.
