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Who Owns a Hat?

1hat.jpg
 
Somewhere around here I've got:

1. light green/grey baseball cap w/ 5.11 Tactical logo on it.
2. khaki "Boonie Cap"

Right to hand, though, is the badass Clint-Eastwood/Man-With-No-Name-lookin' brown leather Stetson.
 
I don't have hats. I used to wear caps all the time as a teenager. Now I can't stand to wear one. I have masks, and a wig. A lucha mask, a Rubber Michael Keaton era Batman mask, a long-bearded old man mask, a Darth Vader helmet, and a mullet wig. No, wait, I have a superman cap.
MASKS RULE!!!
 
I have five caps, all of sports teams, and a beanie, and a neon pink Stetson with Rhinestones on the front that read 'STUD', that I wear everywhere. Especially naked in the tub.
 
I have hair. The hat rests on my hair. The hair covers my skin. Therefore, I am still, by skin exposure, naked.
 
Well, naked from the face down, at any rate, long as you're not naked and face down, which would be quite the compromising position ON THE FLOOR OF THE SENATE.
 
OR EVEN FROM THE FOREHEAD DOWN LOL LETS NITPICK LIKE WE'VE NEVER NITPICKED BEFORE.
 
I just counted. Including my "display" hats that are signed and thus never worn, I own 55 baseball-style caps, one woolen winter hat (Eagles, of course), and one Phillies straw hat that was a giveaway like 6 years ago.

My baseball caps range from Phillies baseball caps, to "Bush Cheny 2004" to Philadelphia Eagles caps, and even one from the defunct XFL.

My current favorite two hats are a navy blue Nike hat with the Tiger Woods "TW" logo on the front and the name "Woods" on the back and my 2007 U.S. Open hat, featuring a squirrel holding a golf ball. F'real.
 
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