Volpone
Zombie Hunter
I'm a sad person right now. I really realized it tonight and it needs saying. My Dad died of cancer in 2000. My favorite Aunt died of cancer in 2004. My Mom died of cancer in 2012. I've spent my life trying to find a girl to spend the rest of my life with. By the time I got my dog, I'd increasingly given up on that and I spent 10 years with my dog and cat. Then, just when I thought I had everything figured out, my dog died last March. I mean, I knew her time was running short. That's why the push to figure everything out. But it still hit me hard. Because we got through so much before that. So it was just me and the cat. The cat died in June. Again, not really a surprise. She had kidney problems and was on a special diet. So when she wasn't able to eat the special diet, that should've tipped me off. And maybe it did. But mostly it was like "Yay, I don't need to make a special trip to the vet and pay $40 for a 3# bag of cat food and do the deal from my car (because of the 'rona) like a drug deal." But eventually she stopped eating the food she could keep down. And all her organs shut down. So it's been just me since then.
Also, around that time I got roped into a job I fucking hate. Everything about it, I hate. And I was already doing a different job I hated. So now I'm doing 2 jobs I hate and have no time for what I want to do. If my friend who hired me had been honest, I could've quit the lower paying job I hate, but he told me "1-3 months," knowing full-well it was going to be much longer than that, but I wouldn't agree to longer than 3 months. Meanwhile I lost the renters for my first rental and my other renter got to be a (even bigger) pain in the ass (than he already was). So yeah. I have a lot of sadness and loneliness. But I'll make it. Spring is coming. My friend has everyone hired so once they get onboard I can slip out of that commitment. There's plenty of dogs and cats that need loving homes and I'm flirting with a girl (as well as I can).
But I still miss my dog. (And in retrospect, she was likely the release for 20 years of pent up grief. This is normal. But getting through it is still exhausting. And I think the only way to get through it is to move on--which is hard to do when I have no time to have a new dog and cat or girlfriend.)
Also, around that time I got roped into a job I fucking hate. Everything about it, I hate. And I was already doing a different job I hated. So now I'm doing 2 jobs I hate and have no time for what I want to do. If my friend who hired me had been honest, I could've quit the lower paying job I hate, but he told me "1-3 months," knowing full-well it was going to be much longer than that, but I wouldn't agree to longer than 3 months. Meanwhile I lost the renters for my first rental and my other renter got to be a (even bigger) pain in the ass (than he already was). So yeah. I have a lot of sadness and loneliness. But I'll make it. Spring is coming. My friend has everyone hired so once they get onboard I can slip out of that commitment. There's plenty of dogs and cats that need loving homes and I'm flirting with a girl (as well as I can).
But I still miss my dog. (And in retrospect, she was likely the release for 20 years of pent up grief. This is normal. But getting through it is still exhausting. And I think the only way to get through it is to move on--which is hard to do when I have no time to have a new dog and cat or girlfriend.)