Gems from Twitter

[Dr Dave]

Portland OR Alerts ‏@pdxalerts Jul 25

Portland - police responding to Interstate 5 at the Rose Quarter - report of a male and female having sex on the jersey barrier #pdxtraffic

Well that's one place to do it.

 

[Dr Dave]

Portland OR Alerts ‏@pdxalerts Jul 24

Portland-police responding to 900 blk of N. Bristol- caller reporting 2 kids stole his marijuana and pipe off his porch and is chasing them

Damn punk kids!

 

[Cassie]

Stock Porn Comments ‏@PornComnents 27m

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

YES YOU IZZZZ SISTAH. COME KISS YA AUNT BUNNY!

 

[Cassie]

Slate ‏@Slate 2h2 hours ago

This Icelandic cave was where Jon Snow lost his virginity: Grjótagjá Is Not Just A Lovely Icelandic Cave, It Is Also One of Game Of Thrones' Most iconic Locations #GameOfThrones

 

[Cassie]

Prof Hinkley ‏@Prof_Hinkley Jul 21

I've been beating it regularly since Michael Jackson first suggested I do so in 1983

 

[Cassie]

パトリック・マシアス ‏@Patrick_Macias Jul 31

"New Coke" protesters, 1985

 

[CaptainWacky]

Is that even real.

 

[Cassie]

I dont' know, but I do remember people being really upset about New Coke.

 

[CaptainWacky]

And rightfully so!

 

[Dr Dave]

The great coke wars were a dark time for us all.

 

[Cassie]

Donald J. Trump ‏@realDonaldTrump 5h5 hours ago New Jersey, USA

So many "politically correct" fools in our country. We have to all get back to work and stop wasting time and energy on nonsense!

Donald J. Trump ‏@realDonaldTrump 5h5 hours ago New Jersey, USA

Re Megyn Kelly quote: "you could see there was blood coming out of her eyes, blood coming out of her wherever" (NOSE). Just got on w/thought

 

[Cassie]

Marco Rubio ‏@marcorubio Aug 10

Watch this video and sign this petition if you know that a human life won’t become a donkey or a cat:

Srsly, this is a real tweet https://twitter.com/marcorubio/status/630831040592936960 This person wants to be president of the USA.

 

[Dr Dave]

He can just blame the intern when a human life does become a cat.

 

[CaptainWacky]

But I WANT human life to become a cat.

 

[Cassie]

God Fieri ‏@GodFieri May 13

*turns water into wine*
*shakes head disappointedly*
.......
*turns wine into chipotle ranch*
*fireworks* *monster truck engine revs*

 

[Dr Dave]

Portland OR Alerts ‏@pdxalerts 7h7 hours ago
St. Johns - Police resp to The Central Hotel Restaurant (N. Lombard) - report of a male inside screaming and threatening people with a stick

This made me laugh.

 

[Dr Dave]

Portland OR Alerts ‏@pdxalerts Aug 15
Portland-police resp to NE Hancock-report of 2 shirtless males in the road selling drugs to a guy that looks like it could be Woody Allen

 

[Dr Dave]

Portland OR Alerts ‏@pdxalerts Aug 14
Portland-police resp to 7900 blk Fessenden - caller reporting a man outside in a @Redbull shirt making threats & armed with a Samurai Sword

 

[CaptainWacky]

Stick guy and Samurai Sword guy should have a fight.