SPAMCAPITAL OMEGA: THE REMAKE OF THE REMAKE OF THE SPAM

[The Dork Lord]

He had frisked into the sitting-room, and was now standing
there: perfectly winded.

 

[The Dork Lord]

"There's the saucepan that the gruel was in!" cried
Scrooge, starting off again, and going round the fireplace.
"There's the door, by which the Ghost of Jacob Marley
entered!

 

[The Dork Lord]

There's the corner where the Ghost of Christmas Present,
sat! There's the window where I saw the wandering Spirits!
It's all right, it's all true, it all happened. Ha ha ha!"

 

[The Dork Lord]

Really, for a man who had been out of practice for so
many years, it was a splendid laugh, a most illustrious laugh.
The father of a long, long line of brilliant laughs!

 

[The Dork Lord]

"I don't know what day of the month it is!" said Scrooge.
"I don't know how long I've been among the Spirits.

 

[The Dork Lord]

I don't know anything. I'm quite a baby. Never mind.
I don't care. I'd rather be a baby. Hallo! Whoop!
Hallo here!"

 

[The Dork Lord]

He was checked in his transports by the churches ringing
out the lustiest peals he had ever heard. Clash, clang,
hammer; ding, dong, bell. Bell, dong, ding; hammer, clang,
clash! Oh, glorious, glorious!

 

[The Dork Lord]

Running to the window, he opened it, and put out his
head. No fog, no mist; clear, bright, jovial, stirring, cold;
cold, piping for the blood to dance to; Golden sunlight;
Heavenly sky; sweet fresh air; merry bells. Oh, glorious!
Glorious!

 

[The Dork Lord]

"What's to-day!" cried Scrooge, calling downward to a
boy in Sunday clothes, who perhaps had loitered in to look
about him.

 

[The Dork Lord]

"EH?" returned the boy, with all his might of wonder.

 

[The Dork Lord]

"What's to-day, my fine fellow?" said Scrooge.

 

[The Dork Lord]

"To-day!" replied the boy. "Why, CHRISTMAS DAY."

 

[The Dork Lord]

"It's Christmas Day!" said Scrooge to himself. "I haven't
missed it. The Spirits have done it all in one night.

 

[The Dork Lord]

They can do anything they like. Of course they
can. Of course they can. Hallo, my fine fellow!"

 

[The Dork Lord]

"Hallo!" returned the boy.

 

[The Dork Lord]

"Do you know the Poulterer's, in the next street
but one, at the corner?" Scrooge inquired.

 

[The Dork Lord]

"I should hope I did," replied the lad.

 

[The Dork Lord]

"An intelligent boy!" said Scrooge. "A remarkable boy!
Do you know whether they've sold the prize Turkey that
was hanging up there?--Not the little prize Turkey: the
big one?"

 

[The Dork Lord]

"What, the one as big as me?" returned the boy.

 

[The Dork Lord]

"What a delightful boy!" said Scrooge. "It's a pleasure
to talk to him. Yes, my buck!"