Torchwood: Miracle Gay... er, Day

[Cassie]

Parts of it were enjoyable.

I like the parts where the lady doctor was working with the other doctors, and I liked the evil pedo + evil PR lady stuff.

 

[Tisiphone]

Angry black man, how stereotyped is that? This episode was stupid.

And that chick some of y'all think is hot from "Dollhouse" is FUGLY.

 

[The Tomtrek]

I don't think anyone really thinks she's hot.

 

[Cassie]

She's hot sometimes, I guess. I liked her in Dollhouse because she was by far a better actress than Duckshoe.

 

[Fuddlemiff]

That's gotta be really saying something, because she was absolutely wooden in Neighbours. And I don't find her attractive either. I ain't being racialist or anything but her eyes are too squinty for my liking.

 

[CaptainWacky]

Jade should get all her parts (not being racist (no I don't care about Torchwood spoilers.))

 

[Cassie]

Is John Barrowman's face made of plastic?

 

[JOHN BARROWMAN]

Listen up, Dolly, my face is made of pure entertainment gold and I won't hear another word about it.

 

[The Tomtrek]

Always nice to see you, John.

How are the kids?

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

And by kids we mean testicles.

 

[Cassie]

Exclusive! "Jane's Take" Episode Two "Torchwood: Miracle Day" | TV Show Recaps, Celebrity Interviews & News About Gay & Bisexual Men | AfterElton.com

Some sounds are recorded long after the original shooting of a scene – maybe a gasp or a groan, or fight noises. Some of those were Jack's vomit noises. Well, guess where I was when John Barrowman came in, weeks after shooting, to record his vomit noises? I was right there in the room with him. It was an experience, I'll tell you that! And you'll be happy to know that every vomit noise in the episode was made by him personally! Accept no substitutes!

If he ever has trouble finding work, he can always fall back on his vomit noise skills!

 

[Fuddlemiff]

Well that's set my mind at rest.. but the question is, will the vomit sounds be included in UK version of the episode, or will they be censored by the CORRUPT METROPOLITAN VOMIT POLICE?!

 

[Cassie]

I read SOMEWHERE that the next episode is going to have hot man on man sex, so that will probably be the one they edit MAYBE... I might have made that up.

 

[Fuddlemiff]

Man sex is something John Barrowman has included in his contract for every show he does.

It caused quite a commotion when he was on our version of Dancing with the Stars... hpeh2:

 

[Tisiphone]

Was it filmed backstage or right there live on TV for people to vote on?

 

[Fuddlemiff]

He had sex with Bruce Forsythe. Google him. He's pretty hot.

 

[Tisiphone]

Mmmm...I love wrinkles.

 

[whisky]

Good gay, good gay.

Not a bad episode, although her head should have been all floppy, not just facing the other way round.

Come to think of it, shouldn't she have been paralysed anyway, like Christopher Reeves, not all walking around with her head on the wrong way.

 

[CaptainWacky]

Yeah her walking around with her head twisted completely contradicted the whole point (they're immortal but not indestructable) BUT HEY IT LOOKED COOL (did it?) RIGHT!! Unless she's a robot.

I guess evil PR woman is an evil alien are actually just the devil walking the Earth (since she's wearing RED) otherwise there's no point really. Lauren Ambrose's face seems to have changed since Six Feet Under (I guess she's just older?)

But speaking of weird faces, PLEASE NO MORE CLOSE-UPS OF JOHN BARROWMAN'S PLASTIC FACE. FUCK.

Gwen shouting at everyone is pretty annoying.

Newman has lost weight since Seinfeld so that's good!

The parts where they're talking about the implications of nobody dying are really interesting, the parts with the CIA trying to kill Torchwood for reasons that probably won't end up making any sense are boring.

 

[Fuddlemiff]

The parts where they're talking about the implications of nobody dying are really interesting, the parts with the CIA trying to kill Torchwood for reasons that probably won't end up making any sense are boring.

Yup, totally agree with that. When it knuckles down and tackles the scifi concept (almost always scenes that don't have Jack or Gwen) it's really interesting and worthwhile to watch. The rest of the time it's a mess. There were so many things bad about this that I completely lost track of them all.

I don't know what Katya from Neighbours's character is called, so I'll call her Katya.

KATYA wears grey trouser suits, doesn't smile unless it's in an evil way, has such a high level of security that the President probably doesn't know she exists and she continues to walk around trying to kill people when her head's back to front. But she still types "???" at the end of emails to her EVEN MORE SECRET boss, like a 14 year old schoolgirl.

RTD's impression of Americans seems to have come purely from Youtube comments sections. "Hey, we saved your asses in World War 2!" "Whaddya gonna do? Complain to your MP?" "Duurrhhh, I don't know Welsh people exist!" Why didn't Jane Exposition tell him to STFU?

Don't forget gay people exist!*

*Once again, you get the impression that RTD's trying to further the cause of gay rights by reminding everyone that gay people exist. FAIR ENOUGH I SUPPOSE, you might think. But he does it by using every gay cliché in the book. Oh, there's a male flight attendant, he must be gay! He denies it, then eventually admits he did have casual gay sex once. Because all gay people are promiscuous and all flight attendants are gay! Sometimes you'd be mistaken for thinking RTD was a homophobic straight guy.

Jack being poisoned went on for too long. It's the second episode out of 10. We know you're not going to kill him off.

I've had enough of this motherfucking Apollo 13 rip-off on this motherfucking plane. "Everybody listen up! We've got 15 minutes of episode two to fill up and all we have are these random pieces of other scripts! Make something fit!"

If I woke up tomorrow and discovered that myself and everyone else in the world was immortal, I probably wouldn't be fixated on some old paedo.

They already did the Welsh/English joke a bunch of times in the first episode, didn't they? Are they going to do it in every episode? What about black pudding? They could have an idiot who keeps asking for black pudding in an irritating Welsh accent.