Hum.... well, I guess I need to throw my hat in.  
First off, can I be the wacky neighbor that lives next door and only shows up at inopportune times?  If not, fine.
I'm six feet tall.  My hair and beard are both red/blond/grey.  Its a pretty even mix.  I have a goatee and my mom describes me as "intimidating".
Picture an old biker, with sandy hair and no tats.
I'd like to be wearing a wife beater, jeans, leather chaps and clown shoes.
Also, I have a posse of three clowns.  They are wearing blue pants, white shirts with poka-dots and tiny hats with flowers.  One carries a whip, the other a chain, and the last carries a baseball bat.  If their makeup can be old and smeared, it would be perfect. Oh, and they all have tat's and their neck tats all have a heart with the script "Dad" under it.
Oh, and I carry a .45.
Thanks.
TheArtist
PS - I also broke my nose, so its crooked.  And I have scar on my face under my right eye.  It looks like a dueling scar. I have another one on the bridge of my nose from nearly the tip of my nose to in between my eyebrows.
PPS - I ALWAYS have a deck of cards on me.