Words to live by!

[Kerb Crawler]

Curiosity kills the cat. Rubbing its fur the wrong way just pisses it off.

 

[Kerb Crawler]

Wherever you go, they you are. (I heard this somewhere once.)

 

[Kerb Crawler]

One is the lonliest number. Dueces are wild.

 

[Kerb Crawler]

Objects are closer than they appear in mirror, and, yes, those jeans DO make your butt look big.

 

[Kerb Crawler]

White and black spirits can easily be stoppered in salt and pepper shakers, respectively.

 

[Kerb Crawler]

Question everything and everyone. Except your parole officer.

 

[Kerb Crawler]

Accept your parole officer.

 

[Kerb Crawler]

God judges. Satan accepts you for who you are. Unconditionally. (Read the fine print.)

 

[Kerb Crawler]

Consider life from the perspective of the looking glass.

 

[Kerb Crawler]

Be wary of losing your virginity to a high-end bitrate.

 

[Kerb Crawler]

Remember the Alamo for your car rental needs.

 

[Kerb Crawler]

Gaydar is not fool-proof. Check your warranty.

 

[Kerb Crawler]

Pushme-pullyous are not real. Except in contests of wills.

 

[Kerb Crawler]

Infidelity will catch up with you in the form of a large black man named Tyrone. He is not amused.

 

[Kerb Crawler]

Be sure. A dime a dozen.

 

[Kerb Crawler]

Change your problem into a solution now.

 

[Kerb Crawler]

Fall is a time for awakening. Rise.

 

[Kerb Crawler]

The beauty in me recognizes the beauty in you. Don't fuck it up with empty promises and missed appointments.

 

[Kerb Crawler]

Your hand is your most important tool. The brain is ancillary.

 

[Kerb Crawler]

Hemlock will destroy love. Avoid.