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Words to live by!

Curiosity kills the cat. Rubbing its fur the wrong way just pisses it off.
 
Wherever you go, they you are. (I heard this somewhere once.)
 
One is the lonliest number. Dueces are wild.
 
Objects are closer than they appear in mirror, and, yes, those jeans DO make your butt look big.
 
White and black spirits can easily be stoppered in salt and pepper shakers, respectively.
 
Question everything and everyone. Except your parole officer.
 
Accept your parole officer.
 
God judges. Satan accepts you for who you are. Unconditionally. (Read the fine print.)
 
Consider life from the perspective of the looking glass.
 
Be wary of losing your virginity to a high-end bitrate.
 
Remember the Alamo for your car rental needs.
 
Gaydar is not fool-proof. Check your warranty.
 
Pushme-pullyous are not real. Except in contests of wills.
 
Infidelity will catch up with you in the form of a large black man named Tyrone. He is not amused.
 
Be sure. A dime a dozen.
 
Change your problem into a solution now.
 
Fall is a time for awakening. Rise.
 
The beauty in me recognizes the beauty in you. Don't fuck it up with empty promises and missed appointments.
 
Your hand is your most important tool. The brain is ancillary.
 
Hemlock will destroy love. Avoid.
 
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