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Wacky Reviews: Star Trek
- Thread starter CaptainWacky
- Start date
Fuddlemiff
Is this real life?
I had it on VHS, but Transfiugrations and Family (the following episode) were on there too, so I ended up seeing those two not very interesting stories almost as much as TNG’s very best.
Both parts are excellent, but the first part has a sense of urgency that I can’t recall from any other Trek episode. Even before Picard is assimilated it already feels like anything could happen and the idea of Earth being assimilated (or at least harmed in some way) doesn’t seem out of the question.
As it happens, 11,000 people die by the end of it, so it does really live up to those high stakes.
I always found the stuff with Shelby an odd distraction. The Borg are threatening Earth and some people are squabbling over a job position... but I can see that it has its place.
Both parts are excellent, but the first part has a sense of urgency that I can’t recall from any other Trek episode. Even before Picard is assimilated it already feels like anything could happen and the idea of Earth being assimilated (or at least harmed in some way) doesn’t seem out of the question.
As it happens, 11,000 people die by the end of it, so it does really live up to those high stakes.
I always found the stuff with Shelby an odd distraction. The Borg are threatening Earth and some people are squabbling over a job position... but I can see that it has its place.
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
Family - The Enterprise is at Earth following the Borg incident (serialisation in TNG!) and Worf doesn't want his parents to come onboard. Picard assures Troi that he's fine, okay? O'Brien tells Worf that his father is a sex pest. Worf's parents are Russian and his dad recognises O'Brien as a Chief Petty Officer (even though O'Brien has Lieutenant pips?) Picard goes back to his home vinyard and his nephew Rene tries to mug him. Picard's French family are English too. Picard's brother Robert is a bit of a dick who instantly starts acting like Picard thinks he's too good for his family now even though Picard hasn't given that impression. Crusher and Troi go through her dead husband's things and she finds a message he made for Wesley. She doesn't know if she should show him it, but it's Star Trek so of course she will. Worf's dad keeps embarrassing him. Picard's old friend Lewis wants to raise a new continent but Robert doesn't like the idea. Robert keeps taking digs at Picard about technology, as if Picard is personally responsible for progress. Robert has an annoying face. Robert accuses Picard of encouraging Rene to go into space. I don't know, I feel you wouldn't have to encourage someone into wanting to go into space. It's pretty exciting on its own. Lewis visits Picard and offers him the job of supervising the Atlantis project.
Worf's parents worry about him. Guinan talks to them and says when Worf looks out the window for home, he looks to Earth, not the Klingon homeworld. Worf tells them he's happy they came. They were worried about him after his discommendation. Robert keeps needling Picard for cancelling the parade that was supposed to be held in his favour. He goads Picard into a fight. They roll about in the mud and start laughing, but then Picard starts crying and Patrick Stewart does some damn fine acting again. Robert implies that this is what he was going for all along by picking on Picad, but I still think Robert's a bit of a dick! They drink wine together. Picard obviously turns down the Atlantis thing. Wesley watches the holo recording of his dad. Wesley trying to grab the hologram as it disappears is pretty sad. Rene sits outside, dreaming of starships in a nice ending. He'll have burned to death four years later.
This episode was groundbreaking for Trek as it was the first time they'd ever done an episode that just existed to react to the events of previous episodes. It's good, though I don't think it's a classic like its reputation seems to be. The character stuff is good but not particuarly deep. I mean the Wesley subplot is two scenes and it's pretty basic stuff. It's nice, and Wheaton does decent acting, but there's not much to it. Worf's parents are fun so it's good to see them. The Picard stuff is the best part and I'll admit that Robert was probably just acting like a dick in the first half just to rile Picard up into letting his anger out (which is maybe a bit of a contrived plan.) But I still find him annoying in that first half! Anyway, this is definitely good, I just don't think it's aged as well as some episodes and DS9 will really show it up in terms of serialisation.
SCORE: 8/10
Worf's parents worry about him. Guinan talks to them and says when Worf looks out the window for home, he looks to Earth, not the Klingon homeworld. Worf tells them he's happy they came. They were worried about him after his discommendation. Robert keeps needling Picard for cancelling the parade that was supposed to be held in his favour. He goads Picard into a fight. They roll about in the mud and start laughing, but then Picard starts crying and Patrick Stewart does some damn fine acting again. Robert implies that this is what he was going for all along by picking on Picad, but I still think Robert's a bit of a dick! They drink wine together. Picard obviously turns down the Atlantis thing. Wesley watches the holo recording of his dad. Wesley trying to grab the hologram as it disappears is pretty sad. Rene sits outside, dreaming of starships in a nice ending. He'll have burned to death four years later.
This episode was groundbreaking for Trek as it was the first time they'd ever done an episode that just existed to react to the events of previous episodes. It's good, though I don't think it's a classic like its reputation seems to be. The character stuff is good but not particuarly deep. I mean the Wesley subplot is two scenes and it's pretty basic stuff. It's nice, and Wheaton does decent acting, but there's not much to it. Worf's parents are fun so it's good to see them. The Picard stuff is the best part and I'll admit that Robert was probably just acting like a dick in the first half just to rile Picard up into letting his anger out (which is maybe a bit of a contrived plan.) But I still find him annoying in that first half! Anyway, this is definitely good, I just don't think it's aged as well as some episodes and DS9 will really show it up in terms of serialisation.
SCORE: 8/10
Eggs Mayonnaise
All In With The Nuts
If Gomez wasn't dead before, let's assume she was one of the 11 just to have some closure.
I'd forgotten about this bit of trivia. Aaron Sorkin did the same thing to The West Wing when he left at the end of S4. The President's daughter (Elisabeth Moss!) is kidnapped, and the President had to step down during negotiations/rescue. But his VP had just resigned after a sex scandal, and the next in line to succeed is a Republican who could do some damage (John Goodman!). The only difference is, Sorkin didn't return and The West Wing sucked for about a year and a half.
But I digress. Great reviews of TBOBW! (And every episode)
Eggs Mayonnaise
All In With The Nuts
And re: Family -- I've always thought Robert really was a petty, spiteful dick. Apparently he was jealous of Jean Luc their whole lives and Picard felt he'd been bullied by him while they were growing up. I never picked up much on Robert having planned to goad Jean Luc's catharsis out of him -- I always took it as him just reverting to older brother mode once he saw Jean Luc finally act vulnerable, which is the way he prefers their relationship. Total dick. Sad that he burned to death four years later, though.
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
Even if the vineyard didn't have a fire suppression system (which you could put down to Robert hating technology, but that would still be insane to put his family at risk) you could see lots of modern buildings around it in this episode, so it's not like they were in the middle of nowhere. You'd think they be able to transport people out during fires or something. So my theory is that Q murdered them to test Jean Luc.
Colonel Kira's Left Tit
Bearded Belly of Bajor
I think we were supposed to believe that Robert was playing Jean-Luc the whole time, trying to make him angry and stuff. It didn't really pan out so well given the backstory of their history. But bless them for trying.
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
Remember how they replaced Robert with a more handsome actor for the photo of him in Generations?
Fuddlemiff
Is this real life?
And poor poor René. They were so different that it was a few years before I was sure they were supposed to be the same characters.
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
Brothers - A boy plays a practical joke on his brother which results in the brother eating a deadly fruit. The Enterprise has to rush to a starbase to heal him, because Crusher can't treat deadly fruits. The boy's acting is annoying, but luckily Data starts acting weird. He stops talking to anyone, hijacks the ship and turns off life support to the Bridge. Picard tries a saucer seperation (at Warp 9.3!) but Data locks the controls speaking in Picard's voice. He keeps foiling attemps to stop him. This is all very cool but sadly we cut to the bad acting kids. Data enters a really long security code in Picard's voice in a creepy moment. He escapes the ship, using forcefields to knock people over. He beams down to a house full of science stuff and an old man who looks suspiciously like Data. It's Noonian Soong, the father he thought dead! He'd programmed Data to come when called for. Then we have to watch the younger, even worse actor brother again. Picard can't get control of the ship again without the security code. Data still can't quite whistle 'Pop Goes The Weasel' in agood continuity nod. Soong explains that he created Data to achieve a kind of immortality.
Oh shit, Lore shows up! Soong stupidly activates him despite him being evil. Soong tells them he's dying and even Lore is upset. Bad actor brother only has a day to live. Riker comes up with some technobabble way to use the transporter. Soong tells Data that he isn't less perfect than Lore, who is a big liar. Lore has a tantrum over Soong disassembling him while Data keeps saying "I am not less perfect than Lore." Soong has created an emotion chip for Data. Soong goes for a sleep before implanting the chip and Lore smiles evily. I'm sure this will end well! Lore pulls the old switcheroo and calls Soon "Often Wrong" a lot. Doesn't Lore already have emotions? Does he have double emotions now? Lore is more unstable than ever and beats up Soong. Riker, Worf and Geodi find the house and reactivate Data. Soong dies, after a touching farewell with Data who he will live on as part of. Data finally gives control the ship back and they take the sick lad to the starbase. Data watches the bad actors play and Crusher tells him that brothers forgive. But really Data probably shouldn't forgive Lore for murdering their father?
Data stealing the Enterprise is really good fun. Brent Spiner is great playing three different characters. Soong's old age make-up isn't quite the best but the acting's good enough to ignore it. Lore is much better here than in 'Datalore.' I mean he's still an evil twin but his motivations make more sense so his evil is more relatable. The only thing dragging the episode down is the terrible acting of the two young brothers and that whole plot really.
SCORE: 8.5/10
Oh shit, Lore shows up! Soong stupidly activates him despite him being evil. Soong tells them he's dying and even Lore is upset. Bad actor brother only has a day to live. Riker comes up with some technobabble way to use the transporter. Soong tells Data that he isn't less perfect than Lore, who is a big liar. Lore has a tantrum over Soong disassembling him while Data keeps saying "I am not less perfect than Lore." Soong has created an emotion chip for Data. Soong goes for a sleep before implanting the chip and Lore smiles evily. I'm sure this will end well! Lore pulls the old switcheroo and calls Soon "Often Wrong" a lot. Doesn't Lore already have emotions? Does he have double emotions now? Lore is more unstable than ever and beats up Soong. Riker, Worf and Geodi find the house and reactivate Data. Soong dies, after a touching farewell with Data who he will live on as part of. Data finally gives control the ship back and they take the sick lad to the starbase. Data watches the bad actors play and Crusher tells him that brothers forgive. But really Data probably shouldn't forgive Lore for murdering their father?
Data stealing the Enterprise is really good fun. Brent Spiner is great playing three different characters. Soong's old age make-up isn't quite the best but the acting's good enough to ignore it. Lore is much better here than in 'Datalore.' I mean he's still an evil twin but his motivations make more sense so his evil is more relatable. The only thing dragging the episode down is the terrible acting of the two young brothers and that whole plot really.
SCORE: 8.5/10
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Eggs Mayonnaise
All In With The Nuts
Yeah that whole B plot was a little too on-the-nose convenient in terms of leading up to "Brothers forgive." DS9 got better at stringing plots together that weren't clones of each other.
But still a classic episode.
But still a classic episode.
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
Or Picard using contractions.
Eggs Mayonnaise
All In With The Nuts
"DEY AIN'T NUTHIN' BUT FO' LIGHTS!"
Starship Coyote
Original Gangster!
Fo' lights, mutha fucka... I's sees FO' lights!!!
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
Suddenly Human - The Enterprise responds to a distress call from a Talarian (why are there so many aliens with names similar to this?) ship and finds a human boy (Jono) onboard, along with some Talarian boys. He has all kinds of injuries dating back years, so has he been abused!? All the Talarians start making an annoying noise in Sickbay. Jono is generally annoying and will only answer to Picard (because he's the Captain.) It turns out Jono is actually the grandson of a Starfleet Admiral. The Talarians are sexist so Troi says Jono has to build a relationship with a man...Captain Picard! OH SNAP! Jono just keeps making fucking annoying noises and stuff, because he's a bratty teen but an ALIEN bratty teen (or raised by aliens whatevs) and aliens make annoying noises. He moves into Picard's quarters because he always lives with his Captain (it's stupid) and wrecks up the place. Picard talks to Troi about he's bad with children. This is all pretty bad! He admits he spent his whole youth trying to get ready for Starlfeet and skipped his childhood. Jono listens to LOUD ALIEN MUSIC because he's a teenage BUT ALSO AN ALIEN. Picard tells him about his human family dying and the Talarians taking him in. Finally Jono's Talarian father (Endar) shows up. He says Jono is his son and everyone acts surprised even though it's clear he's been looking after him for years. He says all of Jono's injuries are normal for a Talarian youth trying to impress their father. Picard won't let the boy leave, Endar says he's willing to go to war over him.
Picard does let Endar and Jono have a supervised visit, in case he's an abuser. No one wants a war. Jono's aunt the Admiral calls him. I'm just calling him Jono instead of Jeremiah because it's easier to type. He's the last of his line because his family are really unlucky except this old woman. Picard plays space racquetball with Jono to make him feel better. This somehow triggers his PTSD to when he parents died, even though he's been in actual combat with his Talarian family since then. Picard explains human emotions to him and takes him to Ten Forward. Wesley gives him a banana split and he splurges it on Wesley's face and everyone laughs even though (as Data points out) it isn't actually funny. Then Jono decides to stab Picard in the chest. Typical teenage rebellion! Riker won't hand Jono over to Endar. There's going to be war! In this bad episode! Jono wants to be put to death for attacking Picard. Yes, it was just a really weird suicide attempt. Jono felt like he'd betrayed Endar so he tried to commit suicide by Picard. He's an idiot. Picard says the REAL CRIME was trying to convince Jono to stay with the humans. I don't know, I think the stabbing was worse. He lets Jono return to Endar. Jono finally takes off his gloves and gives them to Picard. It's supposed to be touching, or something.
It's a pretty bad episode! Jono's actor is poor and the whole sulky teenager thing with Picard is cringeworthy. I do like that Picard admits they were wrong in the end, but what about his grandmother the Admiral? Won't she be pissed off with Picard for handing him over without asking her? What was the point if even introducing her to the story? It's not good.
SCORE: 3/10
Picard does let Endar and Jono have a supervised visit, in case he's an abuser. No one wants a war. Jono's aunt the Admiral calls him. I'm just calling him Jono instead of Jeremiah because it's easier to type. He's the last of his line because his family are really unlucky except this old woman. Picard plays space racquetball with Jono to make him feel better. This somehow triggers his PTSD to when he parents died, even though he's been in actual combat with his Talarian family since then. Picard explains human emotions to him and takes him to Ten Forward. Wesley gives him a banana split and he splurges it on Wesley's face and everyone laughs even though (as Data points out) it isn't actually funny. Then Jono decides to stab Picard in the chest. Typical teenage rebellion! Riker won't hand Jono over to Endar. There's going to be war! In this bad episode! Jono wants to be put to death for attacking Picard. Yes, it was just a really weird suicide attempt. Jono felt like he'd betrayed Endar so he tried to commit suicide by Picard. He's an idiot. Picard says the REAL CRIME was trying to convince Jono to stay with the humans. I don't know, I think the stabbing was worse. He lets Jono return to Endar. Jono finally takes off his gloves and gives them to Picard. It's supposed to be touching, or something.
It's a pretty bad episode! Jono's actor is poor and the whole sulky teenager thing with Picard is cringeworthy. I do like that Picard admits they were wrong in the end, but what about his grandmother the Admiral? Won't she be pissed off with Picard for handing him over without asking her? What was the point if even introducing her to the story? It's not good.
SCORE: 3/10