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Wacky Reviews: Star Trek

It is a pretty lame story. But Jono was played by Chad Allen, who was starting to get some Tiger Beat teen heartthrob attention around that time. Later as an adult, he came out and starred in a series of bad gay detective mysteries.
 
Remember Me - Beverly welcomes her mentor Doctor Quaice onboard. He talks about his wife and all his old friends dying. Meanwhile Wesley's doing some experiment, which Bev watches. She goes to see her friends but he's disappeared and the computer says he isn't on the Enterprise. There's no trace of him at all, not ever any records of his existence, and O'Brien doesn't remember beaming him onboard. Crusher can't find the other doctors on the ship either (including a Selar mention!) and nobody remembers them. Wesley's theory is that a warp bubble made the people disappear. More and more people disappear, and Data tells Beverly there's only 230 people on the ship instead of over a thousand. Picard says "tea, Earl Grey, hot" again! Then a weird votex appears in Sickbay and nearly sucks up Crusher. They're down to just 114 people on the ship now, but Data can explain the empty space! Even Worf disappears and he's a main character. She runs to Engineering in a panic but finds Wesley still there. He suggests getting The Traveler (from season one, remember) to help, then disappears.

Now everyone's gone except Crusher and Picard and he's sick of her crazy theories about people disappearing! Crusher thinks she's going mad as she desecribes everyone on the ship and Picard can't remember any of them. Crusher has something she wants to say to Jean-Luc...right before he disappears too. Crusher is nearly sucked into a votex again, and this time we discover that it's Wesley and Geordi in the real universe creating the votexes, trying to rescue her. The Traveler appears (Wesley is instantly turned on) and says there's still a way to save her. He says "as long as we think she's alive, she's alive" and Riker says "what the Hell does that mean?" in a brilliant Frakes' line delivery. Crusher is trapped in a static warp bubble where she now only has the Enterprise computer for company. She trips the computer up asking how she can possibly crew the ship all by herself. The Traveler speaks his usual gobbledygook to Wesley about using his space Mozart powers to save his mother. Crusher finds out that the whole universe is disappearing and it's just her and the Enterprise left. "If there's nothing wrong with me, maybe there's something wrong with the universe!" She finally figures out that she's the one trapped in the bubble. The ship itself starts to disappear. The Traveler keeps talking about Wesley's magic abilities. Crusher keeps trying to figure out ways to escape. To be honest this is where the episode starts to drag slightly since she's basically just figuring out that the votexes were sent by Wesley. She runs to Engineering and jumps in the votex as Wesley and the Traveler phase in and out. Picard tells her everyone is onboard including her friend Quaice.

This episode is very strong in a lot of ways! I've been critical of Gates McFadden's acting in the past (mainly season one) but she's very good here. The mystery is well developed. I like how she starts going nuts and the scenes with just her and the computer are good. The downside is the return of the Traveler who feels out of place in season four, a relic from the sillier season one, and the return of Wesley's magic space abilities. It also does start to drag near the end when Crusher is talking to the computer for ages about warp bubbles, it feels a bit like padding. Still a very good episode!

SCORE: 8.5/10
 
Legacy - Data is getting better at Poker because he's learned how to bluff. Riker tries to win all the money with a card trick, but Data is wise to it. The Enterprise arrives at Tasha Yar's home planet looking for missing Federation crewmen. Worf doens't want Crusher to beam down because of rape gangs. The Coalition wants their help in rescuing their crewmen from The Alliance, in exchange for phasers. Ishara Yar, Tasha's sister, is with the Coalition. Everyone suspsects she's fake. Data talks like him and Tasha were best friends and Ishara reminds him of her. Ishara stayed to fight with the Coalition when Tasha left. Data tells her how Tasha was killed by an unconvincing oil man. There's some unmemorable running around the smoky sets action. Riker saves Ishara's life after she risks her life to help them. Riker tells Picard that Tasha died on an away team under his command so he had to save her.

Ishara still thinks Tasha's a coward but Picard tells her she should be proud of Tasha...as Tasha would be of her. Ishara gets a unitard to wear and, umm, yeah, let's just say it's an interesting plot development. Data tells her how Tasha was familiar to him and he misses her. Ishara has an exploding impant she needs removed to help with a mission. She talks about Tasha some more with Data. She tells Data she wants to leave the planet and join Starfleet. Troi can't sense where her loyalties lie. Data is Team Ishara. But Ishara is actually tricking them! Her implant is removed and she gives it to Data. There's more dull walking around corridors stuff. The Crewmen are rescued. With her implant removed, Ishara runs off to disable the Alliance's defense system so the Coalition can come in and kill them. Data finds her and tries to make her feel bad. He ends up shooting her. Picard has to hand Ishara back over to the Coalition anyway because they have no jurisdiction and says they all saw too much of Tasha in her. She feels bad about fooling Data. Riker and Data talk about trusting people.

The episode is...okay? I guess? There's good Data stuff and Spiner is great as always. Ishara's actress does a decent job and, to be a shallow male for a minute, she's very easy on the eyes. Especially in the unitard. But it's all very predictable. I get that the point is that the crew are all tricked by her because they loved Tasha so much, but it still makes them look a bit dumb. And I'm not sure how Troi doesn't sense her betrayal either. The action is all pretty dull too. So yeah, it's just an episode.

SCORE: 6.5/10
 
OH, I saw that one a couple months ago. Her family was haunted by an alien! lol
 
Attached is good. It kept the shippers wanking for weeks.

I also liked it when she slapped Wesley, but that wasn't really a Bev episode, that was an alien/nebula is making the crew crazy episode.

The one where she flew a shuttle into the sun against orders to prove the dead Ferengi scientist's theory was okay but not great.

There really aren't that many Bev eps, are there.
 
Reunion - K'Ehleyr shows up again! Worf wants to hide since there's Klingons about and he's disgraced, but Picard tells him to suck it up. She has a small boy with her. Uh oh! She doesn't care about Worf's discommendation because she hates that Klingon shit. K'Mpec is dying and wants Picard's help because he can't trust anyone on the Council. One of the challengers for the role of Chancellor has poisoned him, either Gowron(!) or Duras. The same Duras who tried to kill Picard the last time they met. K'Mpec now feels bad about covering up for Duras. Worf tells Alexander not to beat up human children. He's angry with K'Ehleyr for not teaching him the Klingon ways, but she's suspcious about Worf accepting discommendation. Duras shows up to trashtalk and Worf tells PIcard he mustn't be allowed to lead the Council because his father was a traitor. Picard reminds Worf he agreed to let Duras get away with that, for the Empire. Worf, of course, thinks Duras is the poisoner. Then we finally get to see Gowron's crazy eyes for the first time at he, Picard and Duras poke K'Mpec with painsticks to make sure he's really dead (Duras pokes him extra long.) A bomb goes off, killing one man on Gowron's side and one on Duras's. K'Ehleyr wants to take the oath with Worf but he doesn't want her and Alexander to suffer his humiliation. Picard wants to use an old succession ritual to buy more time to find out who the poisoner is. K'Ehleyr still wants to know more about Worf's discommendation.

Gowron and Duras are ready to kill each other over the bomb but Picard tells them off in Klingon. Gowron tries to get K'Ehleyr to favour him and threatens her kind of. Geordi and Data find out that the bomb had a Romulan detonator. Either Duras or Gowron has an alliance with the Romulans. Picard and Worf can't tell K'Ehleyr about Duras's father's dealings with the Romulans, but she does some investigating of her own. Picard has Worf reveal the Romulan detonator to Duras and Gowron and they both go back to their ships. K'Ehleyr's digs around in logs and Council records and finds out about Duras's father being the real traitor, and the cover-up. Duras finds out she's looking into it and goes to her quarters. Crusher finds out that the bomb was implanted in the arm of Duras's man. Worf and Alexander find K'Ehleyr dying in her quarters and she dies in front of them. Worf does the death growl and Alexander runs away but Worf tells him to look at death and always remember. Worf fetches his Bat'leth and takes off his Starfleet badge. He goes to Duras's ship and claims the right of vengeance since K'Ehleyr was his mate. They fight in single combat and Worf straight up kills him in front of Riker and Data! Picard has to tell off Worf for killing a guy, even though it was actually fine to do so under Klingon tradition. Worf still can't tell the truth about his father because of the possibility of civil war. He sends Alexander to live with his human parents.

Another great Klingon episode! Seriously you can see why the Klingons were so popular for so long because all their episodes (in TNG anyway) have been great so far, this one taking story threads from two of those previous great episodes. It's a real shame to see K'Ehleyr die in only her second appearance, but it makes for a great death scene and results in Worf killing a guy while serving as a Starfleet officer. You woudln't have gotten that in season one. We also get the introduction to Gowron and he instantly making an impression with his crazy eyes. Alexander seems to have aged super fast (but I guess that's normal for a Klingon or whatever) but he's used well here and isn't even annoying! This is strong stuff.

SCORE: 9.5/10
 
Future Imperfect - It's Riker's birthday and he's playing his trombone. This is a great start. He beams down to a planet looking for Romulans and finding toxix gas, but when he's beamed up (by a black woman, NOT O'BRIEN) he's older!? And so is Beverly!? And Nurse Ogawa who I don't think we've actually met before!? And he's the Captain!?!?!? Crusher tells him that the gas on the planet was sixteen years ago and it infected him with a retrovirus that just became active ten days ago and gave him amnesia. He thinks it's a dream. She says familiar surroundings could bring his memory back. The ship's computer has been slow all morning, which seems significant. Geordi has cloned eyes! Worf is at ops and has a scar, there's a Ferengi at Helm and Data is First Officer. Then Admiral Picard (with a beard!) shows up on a Romulan Warbird. The future is nuts! Picard explains that Riker brought about an alliance with the Romulans and a treaty is going to be signed today. Riker says he's had enough surprises for one day...then goes to his quarters and meets his son Jean-Luc! His mother is conveniently dead. Riker gives him a trombone lesson. Riker is shocked again when the Romulan Ambassador turns out to be Tomalak.

Tomalak gets a tour of the ship and gest to see everything and is about to learn the location of a secret outpost. Picard and Troi assure Riker that Tomalak is a great guy now! Jean-Luc is injured just as Riker starts asking too many questions. Riker bonds with his son a bit and asks questions about his dead wife. Riker tries to watch his sex tapes of her but the computer is still acting up. Jean-Luc gets it to work and Riker recognises his wife as Minuet, the hologram. RIker's pissed now and this is when the episode's legendary scene begins. He goes on a rampage on the Bridge tripping everyone up, ending with him telling Picard to "SHUT UP. As in close your mouth and stop talking!" There's nothing better than angry Riker! The truth is revealed: Tomalak has him on a Romulan Holodeck, using neural scanners to try to find the location of the secret outpost by tricking Riker. He didn't know Minuet was just a hologram. This still seems a bit off! Jean-Luc is actually a human boy who the Romulans have as a prisoner. Riker and Jean-Luc escape, but Riker still feels things aren't quite right. Jean-Luc slips up and calls Tomalak "Ambassador." Jean-Luc was the one creating the fantasy all along! He's actually an alien kid whose mother died and left him with scanners that create illusions. He just wanted to play with Riker, like any boy would. The kid reveals his real (creepy) alien appearance and Riker says "to me you'll always be Jean-Luc"!

Yeah this episode is pretty cheesey. "It's all a dream" was surely already a tv cliche by this point, even though this is the first time Star Trek's done it. It even has the "he's not really awake!" false ending that at least a dozen other episodes will steal. But you know what? This episode is pretty great! It's just so much fun. Sure we know from the start that it's not really the future, but the fun is watching Riker figure it out. This results in the really memorable scene of Riker on the Bridge tearing through all the alies and as I've always said there's no better Riker than Angry Riker. I also enjoy the twist where it turns out it's just a lonely orphan alien behind it all. It's very Star Trek. I like this episode a lot!

SCORE: 9/10
 
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