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Where is the Random Thread of Randomness stuff that doesn't belong in other threads thread?

I should have been doing some bookkeeping. I had at least a half hour between mowing lawn and starting dinner. I could've made a solid dent in it. But when I got in The Dog NEEDED to be petted for 12 minutes straight so at that point I'm just like, "fuck it, I'll screw off online."
 
TIL the Harlem Globetrotters were from Chicago.

They got their start as a promotion for a Chicago dancehall but got fired after a month, so their coach had his tailor dad make uniforms that said "New York" on them to be more exotic and interesting to Midwest towns that they played "barnstorming" games at. When he realized the fact that the players were black and many of the towns they played in had never seen a black person, he changed the name to "The Harlem Globetrotters" to highlight that they were black but also imply they were cosmopolitan.
 
CAPTAIN'S LOG, 2143.4: I may have made a mistake. A horrible, horrible ass-bleeding mistake. I have a friend. We once went through a martini phase. He could consistently make a competently good martini because he had it down to a science and measured out all the ingredients while I shot from the hip. So I could make an amazing martini or a terrible one and the only thing you could be sure of is that no two would taste exactly the same.

Today I have a dish I call "gumbolaya." It is part gumbo and part jambalaya. And don't ask me to explain the differences because I can't remember them. I had skin and bones left over when I'd make chicken stir fry. At first I threw them away. Then I'd make chicken soup in the crock pot, but it was never that good, so I developed gumbolaya, which is amazing. It isn't much to look at, but if I could marry it I would. So tasty.

The problem is that there's a lot of ingredients. I remember them well enough at this point that I don't have to figure it out every time I make it but this also means I sometimes forget something. Or add something. Also, sometimes what I'm looking for isn't in the store. Okra. I usually go frozen because it is a nice balance of easy and tasty. I've used fresh, I've used canned. Sometimes I've forgotten it. Sometimes I forget the jalapeno. Or don't feel like peeling an entire clove of garlic. Sometimes I have to get whatever Ro*tel can the store has. This time they had the "hot" which I realized with some trepidation, involved habaneros. And I got the jalapeno. And I added a fair amount of chili powder. And a fair amount of Tabasco. I did not wash my hands after getting everything fried and into the crock pot so after rubbing my eye, I sat with that eye closed and/or furiously blinking until I could make it to the bathroom to wash it. Even after washing my hands, there's still a lot of capsaisin on them.

In the past I have managed to make chile con carne that was so hot it made me ill. It was tasty but it also put me out of sorts. I fear this gumbolaya. Because I'm sure it will be delicious. I'm equally sure I will pay a terrible, terrible price for enjoying it. After the initial pain of consuming it, I shall have to wait 12-18 hours for the Ring of Fire as it exits the system.

[EDIT]Oh, and the sausage I got was a discontinued DEVIL'S ANUS SPICY flavor.
 
What the hell. Gumbolaya:

Chicken thighs and/or skin and bones left over from another chicken dish. Get a little bag of them precooked salad shrimp and the biggest cheap "Slim Jim" type snack you can find. Add an onion, a garlic, a bell pepper, a jalapeno, celery, maybe a tomato, a can of Ro*Tel, white rice, olive oil, Worcestershire sauce, hot sauce, assorted spices that seem right (black pepper, onion salt, celery salt, paprika, mustard powder, chili powder).

Throw the rice in the crock pot on high with enough water and some garlic salt while you chop up all the other ingredients (except for the Ro*tel) and toss them into a saucepan on medium heat. When they seem done enough, reduce heat on the crock pot and dump it all in, add the Ro*tel and maybe some beer and bourbon if it seems right. Let the bastard sit for at least 12 hours. Enjoy.

[EDIT] You can add some ketchup or spaghetti sauce if you feel it isn't red enough.
 
I'm just going to get fat like Jabba the Hutt. I've been exercising and dieting (somewhat) since June or so. Was finally within 2-4 pounds of my "good enough" target goal. Last night I edged back to around 5# from it and tonight I'm back to 7# above where I'd be content to be. Fuck it, just embrace the fat. Even Arnold had to around the time he was my age.
 
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